Ok, so here's my situation. There's this guy from my college, whom I'll call Bob for lack of creativity (not his real name). I've had this huge crush in Bob since I met him at the beginning of freshman year. I came out to him halfway through freshman year, hoping he'd do the same. Unfortunately, he's straight. He was still very supportive, though. And I still had a huge crush on him. Fast forward to sophomore year. Bob and I have the same major, so we have classes together. I still have a huge crush on him (did I mention that he was my first true crush? those don't die easy... :dry: ). Anyways, I go and tell Bob about said crush halfway through sophomore year. He says he's flattered, but he's still as straight as ever. He's one of my best friends, and is very passive (like me), and he takes it just fine (as in, he doesn't disown me, and it really doesn't change our friendship). Fast forward to the end of sophomore year (a few weeks ago). I'm in this group of 10-12 people, all trying to end up in apartments near each other. We wind up getting two 5-person apartments in the same building. I'm in Bob's group. Ok, now fast forward to now. My 5-person apartment group is meeting tomorrow, to try to figure out rooming situations. In our apartment, there is one two-person room and one three-person room. My big thing is, do I want to room in the same room as Bob? On one hand, I don't think I'd mind it too much. We're pretty good friends. On the other hand, I worry if it would drive me crazy. I know he can't be mine. I'd never make any advances on him, and would never do anything to make him uncomfortable (i really do value my friendship with him). But, not showing affection means bottling it up inside. I know I'd see him a ton, as both rooms share a common room and a kitchen. But, should I try to stay in a different bedroom? I'd really have to keep myself from watching him undress... So, my main question is this: should I try to avoid rooming with him, or do I not care. I know there are a lot of other factors that will go into this, like sleep schedules, study habits, etc. But, I feel like me having a big crush on him is a definite factor (for me, at least). I haven't asked his opinion on this, yet. This did end up a little longer than I planned. Thanks for finishing it!
ok, well, you should really talk to him. Personally, I would not room with him, but if it's a two person room, it's bound to be a lot quieter then it will be in a three person room. If you're not comfortable with the idea of rooming, then see if you can have a compromise Share with another friend for a while, and see how that goes, and if it doesn't work out, then swap back to sharing with him??
From my experience, I live with my crush currently and I've told him(well he figured it out lol) but he's really supportive. I'm pretty sure he's straight. I've had this crush for years and being around him has helped over come it. I know I can't have him and just wanting to be his friend gradually takes over. You can still love the guy just remember he's only a friend and things should go fine. As for sharing a room that's your choice, it'll be tough but after enough time he'll just be your rooming bud and that's all. When I shared a room with my crush it was quite distressing, but I still was able to keep my mind about me just gotta remember its only a crush and nothing more. Me and my crush are completely open to each other which makes it a whole lot easier to move on. You can share a room if you want, but number 1 important thing is you gotta keep it on a friend level. THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD... but as someone on here said it takes a lot of time... I hope this helps.
Room with him, in the 3 person bedroom. The third person would be a stop for you to do something 'stupid', and you'll get to know him way better therefore making your crush fade away little by little. If not, ye can always ask a friend in the other bedroom to switch
Thanks for your advice. I wasn't thinking about the whole "rooming with him to help get over him" thing, but I do think that would be extremely helpful (just about any advice in regards to this is helpfull..). And Quitex, don't worry, I'm pretty good at keeping myself from doing anything stupid. In this way, at least...
You seem to have that same open communication friendship that Rahata was describing. I think you can pull off living with "Bob" and not suffer from any effects of it.
I think it'd be best if you were in separate rooms. It's easier to say no when the temptation is at least a room away. Plus, as cool as Bob says he is with the whole thing, that may be something that's nagging him in the back of his mind when sharing a room with you. "Does he still feel that way about me? Is he sneaking peeks at me when I'm not looking? Should I get dressed in the other room? Will he feel I'm snubbing him if I get dressed in the other room? Should I get dressed in here just to show I don't have a problem with him being gay?" It might be easier for both of your states of mind if you just took different rooms. Lex
I think you'd be better off in separate rooms for the reasons Lexington mentioned, though it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to him privately about it.
I'd take separate rooms. Talk to bob about it so he doesn't feel like your mad at him or anything, but just that you couldn't take the pressure of being roomed with him.
Another vote for separate rooms. And give some thought to different accommodations altogether. Living with someone you have a crush on- even with separate bedrooms, will be a challenge.
