Hi, y'all! Miss Jentacular here. My first post—hope I'm doing things right. I ID as a queer lesbian, but I tell most people I'm either gay or pan because most people don't understand what queer is, so when they hear queer lesbian they think it means "gay gay." In reality pan is probably what best describes me, but my preference for girls is so strong that I prefer to stick with queer lesbian. ANYWAYS, I have told a few friends, but that's it. I've thought about coming out to my mom, and I'm trying to decide if it's the best time or the worst right now. I'm 16 (a sophomore in high school), and my brother is about to go off for college pretty far away. A part of me thinks, "no, not now! She's really stressed and worried about my brother!" On the other hand, when he leaves, I'll be the only kid in the house; it'll be all me all the time. So maybe it's best to tell her now, seeing as I won't be the main focus, so it won't be seen as such a big deal. What do y'all think? Should I do it now, or wait until my brother's gone?
I'd say go for it as soon as you can. I've been out to a good deal of close friends for a while, and I didn't start talking to anyone until I was almost 18 (I'm 22 now). I feel long overdue for talking to my parents about it at this point, as I still haven't done it but am now planning to very soon. I can completely relate to that feeling of "No, not now! They have other things to worry about!" and in my experience, it becomes sort of a long-term excuse and never really goes away. At least for me, I was always able to think of another reason that I couldn't bother my parents with it. I still can now. And honestly, I feel like I would have been better off if I just decided to tell them earlier. I kept putting it off with my reasoning being that I didn't really have any good reason to tell them. But I'm realizing the notion of having a completely open, honest relationship with them is a good enough reason alone. I think it helps a lot, especially if you have parents like mine who always want to know about and hear your reasoning for all of your life decisions.
