Hi guys! I was wondering if anyone who is comfortable could offer up their experiences coming out? I know everyone is different, but I am really really scared. The people I know who are gay, for the most part, are still homophobic/dealing with all that and...I want some inspiration from people who came out and are stronger, better and happier for it (wait..does that exist???). One person I know who is a lesbian told me about this guy in her social circle. He came out in the bay area, with gay family members and friends, and still, was suicidal over it. I can see myself being that way. I've had sooo much trauma in my life. I've been suicidal. Honestly, I know this sounds funny but now that I feel safe enough to experiment with sexuality even a little, I just, well, didn't 'expect' to be lesbian/bi/whatever I am. So all the 'support' in the world (bay area, out and gay brother, gay peers....which again don't have a lot of out and proud peers...)...I don't know if I could handle it. I am so sensitive to judgement. I just don't want to be hated. I am afraid coming out will push me over the edge. I've been poor, I've been abandoned by my family, I've been to abusive 'reform' boarding school even before I did anything 'bad'. So one more way to be judged and isolated....is terrifying. People keep telling me to hook up with the LGBT community at my college. I keep trying. No responses. I think there just aren't that many gay people out there. Anyone else feel that way? I mean, I feel like a real minority. Crap! It's scary. I just don't want to fall apart and get made fun of/hated/isolated/even dirty weird looks. Then again, being closeted is not fun........ Ok, thanks, yeah. Any stories about your own experience would be superhelpful!!!:icon_bigg
I went through a phase where I wasn't very proud right after I came out, but thats because I was not comfortable with it myself yet. Its a hard transition when you are so used to the closet. Then the first time I walked down the street in Seattle with my arm around wrapped around a guy I realized I do not give a rats ass what anyone thinks of me and I felt very liberated and proud! I know it seems like there aren't many of us out there (trust me I know -- I do not live in seattle anymore, try a small redneck town), but you are not alone! I guarantee that even if there are haters there will be way more people that love and accept you. Its important to rise above the negativity and shed some of that self conscious thinking. Your main source of support has to come from yourself, so keep your head up and be strong.
I expected quite a horrible time coming out. When I was in middle school, my sister told me a time or two that she would "take action" if I was gay (my friends were always girls), peers in high school always bad-mouthed the LGBT community, and it was never a topic that was discussed with my parents. It was a rather confusing moment in life: who would I tell first? How? When? What if this or that? During high school I had a girlfriend for two years, and in the beginning of my senior year, I knew it was time for me to accept myself for who I was. The relationship between her and I came to an end, but I didn't immediately tell everyone why, I was waiting for the right moment. That moment came after high school graduation. I first came out to my two closest friends, and one of them could not have been more supportive. The other was not hostile, but we quickly grew apart afterwards. Everyone I told in the immediate family was very supportive of it, and not a single ounce of hatred was expressed (even from my sister). I will admit though that I still encounter bigots, and there are family members who have expressed a number of times how they feel towards me as a gay man. The great thing about "being out" is that grow and learn how to brush such experiences aside. As a person who has experienced a lot of trauma, it is understandable that you may have difficulty coming to terms with this. The most important thing is that you are comfortable with yourself and no matter how hard it may seem, there is a community out there that will accept you for who you are. From the sound of it, you have experienced a significant amount more than an average person can say, and you are still here, are you not? Keep on keepin' on, soldier!
