Should I come out to the more accepting parent first?

I've come to a point where I'm comfortable with my sexuality and was considering coming out as bisexual and polyamorous this summer. I know I'm going to have to come out sooner or later.

My parents are Protestant Christians. My mother supports homosexuals but not bisexuals or polyamorists. My father doesn't support any of it. I was thinking of coming out to my mother first since I don't have to deal with the obstacle of explaining that homosexuality isn't sinful. After that...I haven't decided. I'm not going to ask her to keep it a secret and I don't mind if she wants to tell my father. I guess it just seemed easier to come out to my more conservative father if my less conservative mother already knows.

I also considered coming out as bisexual first and polyamorous later but I think it might be dishonest to say, "I swear I only want one partner, mom. Bisexuals can be monogamous." and then later turn around and say, "Jk. I was lying. I am gonna have more than one partner."

Help?

 

You know your parents better than anyone else here, but this is my advice: tell both of your parents at the same time. Doing this not only keeps you from having to relive a moment or go into it a second time with expectations, but it also keeps things calm between your parents. I imagine this could be a situation when one parent turns to the other and immediately asks, "Did you know?" and things become heated.

If I am understanding you correctly (that are bisexual and polyamorous) and you know that your mother won't be too accepting of it, I would weigh the outcomes carefully. Personally, if you feel that you are going to come out at some point, I think that your orientation is the only thing that should be mention. I feel that the polyamorous aspect is more of a personal matter, and can be too much to handle at one time.

My last piece of advice is do it during a time when either you or your parents can leave the room if it becomes overwhelming. If they leave, let them and wait for them to come to you. If you need to leave and they ask you to stay, just politely tell them "This is clearly something that needs time to settle, please leave me in peace right now."

 

Ok, thanks for the advice.

Well, I guess I feel 'stuck' coming out because I've had a lifelong preference for women and a lifelong interest in living with multiple partners...I suppose there's a chance I could end up with one man and pop out his babies, though a slim chance.... There's the issue with bisexual = polyamorous, though, which makes me wonder if I should come out bi only first, even if I had to lie and say I'm monogamous. I'm thinking out loud. xP

Definitely.