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Scared to come out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by 143kc, May 1, 2013.

  1. 143kc

    Regular Member

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    Hi... This is my first post here, so sorry if its not the "standard".

    Well, I am 15 (16 in a few days) and I have never "done" anything sexually. I have never desired to be with a male in anyway, but I obsess over women. I know many lesbians, and while they were talking about how they realized they were gay, I realized that I'm gay too. (I realized this past November/ December for sure). I'm not the stereotypical lesbian (star-athlete and straight A student involved in her community who used to go to church every week). I really want to tell my mom that I'm gay, but I'm terrified. Lately its all I think about and its eating me alive. I always deny that I'm gay (several have asked recently), and I don't know how to tell people that I am. I think my mom will be supportive, but I'm scared that she will look at me differently. I also really want to tell my coach (second mother), but I know she goes to church frequently and is republican so I'm worried that she will look at me differently, but I trust her more than anyone (equally to my mother). Not coming out before the summer is not an option, but how to come out now is what I need help with. I want to tell my mom first, and my coach shortly afterwards. Any stories/ tips/ ideas of how to bring the topic up would be helpful.


    THANKYOU! Lots of love, XOXO
     
  2. sme

    sme
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    I have been in the same situation for far too long... I knew since I was a kid that I was more attracted to girls in general though. I've only really truly felt for three guys my entire 20 year young life! :wink:
    I was you when I was 15, except for the wanting to come out part. I was scared. And alone, and didn't want to accept that I was quite the lesbian. I went to church every Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday, Played basketball, got fantastic grades... I was on top of the world... Except I wasn't. Because I wasn't me.
    Girlie, I haven't ever in my whole life, been more happy than I have been in the last couple of days. I gutted up, and told my boyfriend/best friend. He took it so well, and is so supportive of me. We have decided to stay together for now, and if I ever find I want to venture out and explore whether or not I'm really a lesbian, or if girls are my cup of tea... I can. He'll stay my best friend. And support me no matter what.
    THAT is the type of person you want to tell first.
    It's scary, I know... and you should only do it when you can take the rejection, save it happen.
    I also told my mom... Who was the person who taught me gays were disgusting and that I should never ever like girls... And guess what? She took it well.
    Think about who in your life really cares enough to support you.
    Tell them first. So you have the confidence to tell others.
    Stay strong! <3 :slight_smile:
     
  3. agonizingnose

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    The way I came out, was to have a friend spread a rumor that I was gay, and when enough people had their suspicions and someone asked, I confirmed it. Easy peassy pumpkin f$%@in pie. :slight_smile: Best Wishes
     
  4. 143kc

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    As scared as I am to come out, I am more scared of living my life "in the closet", frightened, and not accepting of who I am. Some people can lie easily, but due to photographic memory, every lie I commit cannot be forgotten, and is constantly replayed in my dreams.
     
  5. sme

    sme
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    I know that feeling. In which case, you should really starting finding out who you are.
    I think you should really concentrate on you, and who YOU are, minus other people.
    You need to find the confidence and courage to come out. You don't have to come out right away, I mean I'm not screaming about my sexuality, because to be honest, I'm not one hundred percent sure. All I know, is that, I am very rarely truly attracted to men, and all too often attracted to girls. Figure yourself out, and be sure and confident in who you are before you dive in... You have to learn how to swim and float before you lunch off the cliff into the deep water! Be strong, and stay cool. The time will come when you're ready! :slight_smile: