Well a few days ago my mom took my phone and went through it, she actually saw an email from this site and asked me about it. I go a Christian school so I said I was looking into gay marriage and what the bible says for our class to try and convince her I wasn't gay. But she didn't really buy it. She stormed out of the house after she screamed at me, told me it was disgusting, a sin, basically everything a homophobic would say. When she left I came out to my older sister who took it well. I did convince my mom that I wasn't gay, even though I am, but I think she sort of knows. It's really weird and uncomfortable between us now. I know it's something she will never accept and I wish she wouldn't have found out that way. Any advice on how to deal with this would be great. Thanks guys.
as a parent who recently learned my son was gay, the best advise is give your mom time. It honestly is a shock and even the most accepting of parents will feel grief and loss. And many will feel guilt. It takes time to come to terms with the news and eventually acceptance. My son was fairly lucky as I really have no problem with it but even I felt sadness because I know he is going to be traveling a hard road, and like any parent I just want to protect him. Just remember your parents love you and even if they do not act right, or say the right things they do still love you. Many forget that this is about you, and they worry how others will see them, they forget that what you are going through is a hundred times harder and if you don't have their support it is worse.. Just be patience and remember they are flawed humans who don't alway make the best choices. And you have this great board to help you through the times ahead
Mariahk has it totally right. Consider how long it took you to accept and be OK with the fact that you're gay. And, of course, consider that you're still obviously a little uncomfortable because you hadn't already come out. Now... think about it from your mom. She probably had no idea (at least consciously) and so she gets hit with this info very suddenly... and on top of that, she's got the religious dogma to deal with. Unless you're in a very small minority of people, your mom, even as religious as she is, will eventually come around. It takes longer usually for parents who have to work through the internal conflicts between loving their child and their religious belief, but nearly all of them work it out sooner or later. I also recommend that anyone who is troubled with the religious implications search out Matthew Vines on Youtube and watch his excellent, extremely well researched presentation on what the Bible *actually* says about homosexuality, and how there's a very accepting interpretation. His work has created earthquakes among the Christian community, with many people, including many high up in various denominations, changing thier position as a result of his work. Your mom would benefit. She might also benefit from watching "Prayers for Bobby" And to Mariahk... it's really, really wonderful to have parents here, and we don't have enough of them! I hope you'll stick around as it is really meaningful to our members to hear it straight from someone that's been in the same situation as their parents.
