My English teacher is a lovely, friendly woman, who I strongly suspect is gay. She often mentions a genderless "partner" and is not married but most people call her Mrs. She once mentioned that some of us might have boyfriends when we are older, but then said "or girlfriends, I don't judge." (It's an all girls school). She once referred to us as girls, then said "or boys if some of you are having issues." She then laughed off that she would lose her job for that. Today in our social development class that she runs, she talked alot about homophobia and such. She also mentioned that many students came out to her at her old school. I don't know what to do. She's lovely and accepting, but I don't want to ruin my relationship with this teacher, or have this affect my classes. Is it ever a good idea to come out to a teacher?
It's hard to say whether it is either a categorically good or bad idea. Certainly if your school is for example a Catholic school, it is most definitely a bad idea. I've read that in some places religious schools can expel students for being gay. However, if it's not, and you feel like you can trust your teacher, like many other gay students before you have, then perhaps she would be a good person for you to tell. In my school years there were definitely a number of teachers that, had I told them, would have been immensely supportive. It really depends on how you feel about the idea of telling her i.e. whether you would feel comfortable sharing personal details about your life with your teacher? If you are sure or not that you can trust her?
If a lot of other people have come out to her, I wouldn't be worried about it I imagine that it could be really hard, though, to bring it up! Are you coming out to her for advice from her, or just because you want her to know? Good luck!
If you want to come out to her, you should. I don't think it's ever a bad idea to come out to a teacher because regardless, they cannot judge you for it. They cannot let it affect anything because you're not supposed to be placed at a disadvantage for anything like that. If she seems accepting, then I think you should.
Even if she is not gay (there is no reason why a straight person can't say what she said), she is clearly supportive, so yeah, go for it, I'd say.
Go for it! She seems so supportive, that I can't even think of a single reason why not to come out to her! And the relationship between you two could be even better afterwards!
I have a professor now, he's 28 and married. He says the same kind of things. He once was talking to me and said "someday you'll meet the right girl, or guy if that's what you're into...". It meant a lot, even though he didn't know it, and he's straight. But your teacher sounds great, I'm with everyone else. Go for it! Good luck
So long as you don't think it'll get you in trouble or will get the teacher in trouble, I don't see any reason that you shouldn't. My advice is to come out to her in a letter, but do it in the context of how much her words have meant to you. This helps avoid a somewhat awkward conversation, but I think it would also be much more meaningful to your teacher. People don't often receive compliments or thank you's - teachers especially. A simple letter explaining how you've struggled with your sexual orientation, how her small little comments made you feel included, how she has had a positive influence on you, and simply thanking her for what she's done... it's a letter that she'll likely want to save and keep. It's something that she'd want to look back on after she's retired. It's something that could mean more to her than words can really express - it'll make her feel valued, and even validated in the job she's performing. Perhaps most importantly, it will make her even more resolute to continue with what she is doing, and if she feels comfortable talking to other teachers about it - it may encourage them to do the same. A hand written letter is a small gesture, but it could mean a lot to your teacher. It could also have a positive influence on others.
