Hi I just joined to get some advice. A friend let me stumble across something that confirmed my belief that he was gay. I don't care that he's gay but was very angry he let me find out the way I did and that he hadn't told me directly. I was very distant with him for a few days but have now calmed down and realised that maybe him letting me find out in the way I did was his way of telling me and it was easier for him than speaking to me. I don't know what to do now. I'm sure he knows I know but I don't know whether to continue as if nothing happened or if I should bring up the subject with him and let him know it's ok, I don't care. Any advice would be appreciated. I want to do what's best and easiest for him.
"Life goes on", in other words, you don't really need to act any different than you were prior to discovering his sexual orientation. A good suggestion would be to tell him that if he ever wants to talk about it, you'd be happy to listen to him.
Just to clarify, how did he let you find out? I feel like there's a difference between accidentally leaving something that you stumbled upon and doing it intentionally and therefore they deserve different outlooks on how to proceed.
Riahf, I don't want to go in to too much detail but he basically give me something to read and knew evidence (for the want of a better word) would be among it. I wasn't completely surprised but my first reaction (I'm ashamed to say) was "how could he let me find out like this".
Don't take it too personal. Coming Out, even to someone you know will accept you, is still pretty difficult because it's a secret we've been holding onto for so long and there's a lot of anxiety and fear attached to the coming out process. There have been people who've come out to families or friends through letters, some through cakes, some face-to-face, some have been dropping hints left and right, etc. That's just our way of "protecting" ourselves or at least to reduce the impact, I suppose.