Confused

Hi there,

I found this website about half an hour ago when searching 'coming out to yourself' into google. I am 19 and currently in my first year of uni and have recently been having a battle with myself about my sexuality. Only about half an hour ago was the first time I properly thought of the possibility I could be anything other than straight.

I feel really quite confused with everything at the moment. I have never had a partner and since being at uni my track record of getting with people on nights out is not very straight at all!! I don't usually make out with people on nights out but this year I had one night out when I was very drunk and ended up making out with 2 guy strangers and one girl I kind of knew.. I don't remember this and didn't think anything of it, girls make out with their friends as jokes all the time, right?? A few months later (a few weekends ago), my flatmate has 2 friends that I'm pretty sure are straight but get a bit lesbianish with each other when they get drunk.. well I got super drunk and made out with both of them. I don't find either of those two attractive though, so again, didn't think an awful lot of it except every time I see them I exchange looks with my flatmates (who are close friends) and I am starting to question myself properly for the first time in my life.

For the first time I am questioning whether I am straight. As my flatmates know I have made out with some girls sometimes they make comments hinting (jokingly) that I am a bit gay. I am thinking back to my time at school and am realising I may have had slight crushes on some of my friends. I was (and think I still am) in denial. I took these feelings as just wanting to be close friends with these people, but they didn't like me as much as I liked them (as friends).

Anyways, thank you for reading, I hope you can give me some help or advice. I have just written a lot down that I would not tell anybody right now.