1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Gay in the Southern US

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by GreyTraveller, May 3, 2013.

  1. GreyTraveller

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mississippi
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hey guys, newbie here :slight_smile:

    Well I don't know what stage on the orientation cycle I'm on. I've accepted the fact that I'm gay, happy for it, and I've come out to my favorite internet forum, but I haven't come out to any of my friends or family in real life.

    Some background, I live in the conservative region of the Southern US. I was born and raised in Tennessee and currently live and attend college in Mississippi. I'm 18 years old and turning 19 next month. My parents and a lot of my friends are conservative and religious, no one has any idea that I'm gay, and my family jokes and looks down upon the LGBT community. I'm not particularly flamboyant at all, I'm worried that coming out will be a shock for many as I guess I seem pretty straight.

    So my questions are the questions many have, what do I do and how to I come out? Especially living in such a conservative region, how do I come out to my parents? I really don't want to keep this a secret from them forever as I don't think it's fair to them to lie and pretend to be straight when I'm not and never will be. Every time I think about it I freeze up and just let the unpleasant thoughts pass.

    Can anyone in a situation similar to mine help me out? Any Southern gays on here who can relate?

    Help would be much appreciated! :slight_smile:
     
  2. Munyal

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2013
    Messages:
    530
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kansas City, MO
    I'm in MO, is that close enough?


    Well, anywho, I told some of my very close friends begore my parents, and that created a strong web of support to fall back on. They encouraged me and have been great. I probably wouldn't be as out as I am if it weren't for my friends, so I would highly recommend coming out to some close friends first.

    It is a little scary, but it feels as if a huge weight is lifted off of your shoulders, and is very rewarding. So I would suggest telling friends, and parents after that. Don't do any of this if you don't have the comfort level, though.
     
  3. Martjain

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2013
    Messages:
    296
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Buenos Aires, Argentina
    I think kade's advice is pretty good. Also do you think they'd kick you out of the house? How far would you think they'd go?
    Also, I suggest you watch a movie called For the Bible tells me so, It talks about Christian families in the south with gay/lesbian sons.
     
  4. GreyTraveller

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Mississippi
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Thanks for the advice guys,

    I don't think I would get kicked out or anything dramatic, they do love me but they are very close minded. I honestly expect my mother to take it worse than my father, She grew up a preacher's daughter in Alabama. Whatever the case, I will definitely come out to some close friends first.
     
  5. cowboymarine21

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2013
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    i was born in flordia and lived in the south till i moved north to get away from the gay bashers in my hometow. dont let people run your life you run your life the way you want
     
  6. santaberry

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2012
    Messages:
    178
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Downton Abbey
    Support groups are where it's at. Build 'em as strong as you can so you can turn to them later. I am from Kentucky so in the middle of the south and north though more southern due to our culture and I know how atrocious you can feel because of your family's beliefs. I'm not coming out to my family though until I have someone I care about enough to tell them about. If I do.
     
  7. ForgottenRose

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2012
    Messages:
    756
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I live in Louisiana, pretty decent place. Not many of kids will really tell you anything for being gay. Probably cause the LGBT population is increasing..