My father is not what one would call accepting of the LGBT community, as though he does not hate them, he is most definitely extremely uncomfortable around them. Fairly certain that is why he never mentions uncle Steven... In any matter I am nervous that he would be rather uncomfortable and somewhat detached if I revealed my sexuality to him. Our relationship is still somehwhat fragile do to the fact that he attempted suicide do to insomnia:sleep: caused by spinal issues a year ago, which resulted in me walking in on him bleeding and with half of his genitalia cut off... This makes our relationship rather strained and I was wondering if me coming out to him would relieve or worsen the tension, and what the best way of doing it would be. I feel weird when he makes a vaugly deragotory remark with regards to the LGBT community and It is definetly straining our relationship, but I still wonder if it would just make our relations worse. I also like a boy but I don't think saying "hey, look at me, I have a boyfriend would work out well... In any case I am just looking for a good way to come out to him and advice. Then I can(!) and stop :starwars:
Look, seeing that he isn't comfortable around people like us, I don't think it would relieve the tension between you two, although, some people believe that when someone hates or feels uncomfy around us, it's due to fear and if someone close or beloved comes out, the fear tends to disappear. Although that is just a theory. Personally I don't think it would relieve the tension because he would feel uncomfy around you, at least at the beginning. As for the you finding him bleeding part, coming out perhaps would be a way of deviating the tension off of that, if that's what you want, but, again, the tension would be on you being gay, and I don't think that's want you want either. If you want to bond with him, I don't think this is the best way, but that's just me. (*hug*)
Thanks for the reply, it really is odd how some threads get 20 and others none, but I wouldn't say bonding was my overall goal, it was more to relieve personal anxiety. I naturally strain whenever he talks about how I am going to marry a nice girl someday, or how he changes the channel whenever anything moderately gay turns on, or says an inflammatory comment. Nobody enjoys stress, and it is rather awkward when my eye starts twitching when he does what he sees as a casual activity. Haveing him helping me with coming out to other members of my family would also be helpful. I also hesitate to ask out certain members of the less fair sex, as introducing him to my sexuality that way would not end well. Overall I was just asking for a good method for introducing him the fact that his son is a 30/70 on a scale on Tvtropes and a 4-5 out of six on the Kinsey scale, though said boy wanted to be a ballerina when he was growing up and thusly does not know why he has not asked yet.:rolle: I was basically trying to ask how, not why, I should come out to him.:help:
I would recommend that you try to spend more time with your dad. Do something father/sonly, help him with house chores, or talk to him about work. You should ease some of that tension between you and your dad before having a possibly tension-filled discussion over sexuality. The Coming Out: When you finally do decide the time is ripe, be nonconfrontational in your discussion. Give you dad space and let him talk, and if he raises his voice let him wear himself out before getting words in edgewise. Since you said he was uncomfortable with homosexuality and makes some derogatory remarks, I would avoid doing/wearing stereotypically 'gay' things. Dress how you always dress and talk how you always talk and show him that gay people are just like anyone else. He might go through denial. Give him gentle reminders, but if there is anger mixed in with the denial then just let all of his steam run out until he accepts you. It will be tough, but I'm sure you can do it. (*hug*)
Thanks Mysz, I think that's how I am going to go about things. Either that or wave a rainbow flag around in the living room and sing "We are the Champions" But yah, that was good advice. +1 Internet to you.
