when i was younger i had loads of girlfreinds but in year six i had a boyfreind who was in year eight ever since then i have had less and less attraction to the oppisit sex i know gays but i do not know what to do most think i am strait but i have told a few i am bi and a few i am gay i really dont know because i have this idae of a wife and kids in a little home in the country side but i think i am in denial about to much so i am confused what should i do
Re: what shoudle i do I want you to ask yourself: 1. Do I feel sexual attraction to the opposite sex? 2. Do I feel emotional attraction to the opposite sex? 3. Do I feel sexual attraction to the same sex? 4. Do I feel emotional attraction to the same sex? If you are in the "not sure" stages, then it is a good idea to try and get your feelings into some kind of order. Try and work out in your mind, or even write down what you feel you want. You could be gay, you could be bi, you may even just be straight with curious feelings.
Re: what shoudle i do It doesn't say how old you are. I think what is important is to not identify yourself but instead focus on the people who you are attracted to and not the gender. This might help you to clarify more.
Re: what shoudle i do Well first off, some great advice so far. As for your idea of having the wife and kids and the white picket fence... well, most people in the US and Canada (and probably Britain and Western Europe but I don't want to assume too much) grow up with that notion because it is force-fed to us from the moment we're born. It's a really nice fantasy and I'm sure it works out great for some people but one dream (and a pretty narrow one at that) cannot be the end-goal for nearly 400 million people of all different backgrounds and desires and abilities. Some straight people: --never get married --never have kids --never own a home --never have a "traditional" career And some straight people have all that and then lose it. Likewise, not all gay people (or non-straight people) have or don't have all the above. Some non-straight people do have kids, do get married (in Canada at least... sorry my poor American brethren), do buy a home together, do have very traditional careers. But basically all people, whether they're into people of the same gender or not, are all over the map in terms of what their lives end up looking like. So the dream you have in your head of what life is "supposed to consist of" is inaccurate even if you're a totally straight guy. Life consists of what it ends up consisting of--there's no right or wrong life to have. There are definitely better and worse lives to have but even those definitions usually vary depending on who you talk to. So you'd be way better off if you figure out what you, yourself, want, and avoid focusing on what you think you're supposed to want. Because yeah, if you are a guy who's into guys, you are not going to be wanting to marry a woman and have kids with her. Not that you won't love your kids or even love your wife... but it won't work out ultimately because it's not the right fit for you. So your goal should be to make your life fit you, not try to fit yourself into someone else's notion of what they think your life should be.
There are some people who know at a very young age whether they are gay or straight. There are others who go back and forth between guys and girls. It may be that you are the kind that will find the person you love and the issue of whether they are a guy or a girl won't matter. You can have a family and a house in the countryside either way- whether you're with a guy or a girl.
to me it sounds like youre struggling because you dont fit nto any category thats been ready made - but remember... you dont have to fit exactly under one label. its ok for you to have different feelings at different times. and slow down! theres no time limit - you can take as long as you need to figure out whats best for you. its alright if youre confused now... theres no hurry
