Very depressed.

Once something is done, it's done. It's best to worry about minimizing the effects than about where to place the blame. If the house is on fire, douse the flames before you go looking for the arsonist.

Write a note or a letter to your father. Tell him how horrible you feel about the things you said. No, you can't take them back, but you can at least apologize for them. Feel free to tell him that you tend to "lose it" when you're with him, for whatever reason, and you feel a bit of distance between you two might be a good idea.

Lex

 

Hey Justin. I'm sorry you're feeling down. Let me know if you want to talk.

Apologizing might be the best thing for you. You'll continue to carry this issue around with you until you deal with it. So for your benefit, not his, you should try to deal with it and move on.

You many not need to get along with your dad like you've stepped out of a Norman Rockwell painting, but somehow you need to be on speaking terms I would think...

I hope you feel better soon.

 

(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) You have been making so much progress lately don't let this set you back to square one!

There is only one thing you can do... APOLOGISE. No it won't take back what you said and it won't necessarily heal the hurt that you have dealt to your dad but it is a start. You need to find some balance in your relationship with your parents and I think at the moment you need a time out from your dad.

He obviously loves you otherwise he wouldn't have been making so much effort with you. Loving your family doesn't necessarily mean that you can or do get on with that family member.

Apologise either verbally or in a letter and then take a break, give yourself and your dad time to get over the harsh words and move on. This could take 6 months or a year just make sure that you don't close the door definitively. You need your dad in your life and he needs you, you just have to find out the place you each have in one another's lives.

I don't know what you said, if you want to tell me in a PM feel free. I know you feel ashamed of yourself but I promise you, my hand on my heart, I will not judge you. Far be it from me to judge or critisize, I have in moments of great anger or hurt said some things that should never have been said... many of us do, to our shame but we are just mere mortals and we all do things we regret.

Hang on in there, be strong

 

What is said is said, and I also think that most people in this world know that people sometimes say terrible things they don't mean; I know that I have done it. What I mean is, I think that you should try not to feel guilty about it, and perhaps write your father a letter or something, as previously suggested, in which you explain everything and apologise, and describe how you've been feeling, is the way to go. I think that if you do feel your relationship has been affected by what you said, attempts to repair it must come from you. I think that on the whole, people know that others can say truly terrible things when in an argument or when all else in life is going wrong; I hope your dad sees this.

But I am glad you are able to talk to your doctor about this. But try not to be too hard on yourself about it. You are only human, and make mistakes, like we all do; all you can do is try and make it right as best you can, such as by apologising, or writing your father a letter. That you've said what you've said doesn't make you any less of a good person, in my opinion.

Good luck, and please don't see what you said as any reflection on the sort of person you are. People often do things that they are ashamed of, or shock themselves by doing; but the only thing you can do is accept that what is done is done, try and resolve it as best you can, and eventually try and move on.