High school is over, New attitude towards college.

Hey there, I'm just finishing up my first year at college, so maybe I can give you some advice.

Plain and simple: come out. If you're not afraid of any backlash and everyone important to you knows, just do it.

Now, I realized and accepted that I was gay during my freshman year of college, and the whole year sucked. I made one friend, and we're no longer friends. I get along with everybody, but I have no new friends. I've become an introvert. I'd be insane if my friends from my hometown didn't exist, because than I'd have no friends. I'm hoping by the end of the summer I'll be comfortable enough with myself to be out and open, but I'm just not there yet. I have the same worries you do, except having been through college, I know the answer.

Everyday I see gay kids and all I want to do is introduce myself, not even flirt. But I'm in the closet (except to a few friends from home). It's been a miserable year. Assuming your college is not a conservative one or something, you sexuality shouldn't matter to mostpeople and you'll make friends, gay and straight. Also, join a LGBT club when you get there. That's a great place to start making friends. Like I said, I hope I find the courage to join my colleges Queer Student Union come next year, or it'll be another miserable year.

Be you man, do what you want and live your life. Fuck anyone who has a problem with it. I'm dead serious. The closet fucking blows.

I hope I helped. Good luck in college, I'm sure you'll be just fine.

 

I just graduated after four years at my university. I actually didn't know that I was gay until well into my 2nd year there, but I am telling you: I wish I had known. My life would have been so much better and I would have had more supportive friends from the beginning.

To better address your concerns about missing out on potential friendships, here's my take. For me, I think it was worse to see several of my pre-coming out friendships shrivel away once I realized I was gay. I would have rather never had them, and would have rather had stronger friendships built on who I really was. I just realized it too late in the game. If I could turn back time!

 

I hope that rant made you feel better ^_^

Im almost done with second year of college (WHEE, TWO MORE FINALS) and still in closet.

Congratulations on graduating high school!

and the only thing I want to say is, if you were to date in your first year, make sure you know how you will handle the college course load and new environments first!

 

It's a new start people wont care either way but if you come out beforehand it will be easier and the new friends you make wont feel lied to. I wish I had done it but didn't now I just sit in my closet watching everyone have fun as I'm sure you well know it's hard to enjoy yourself when you keep thinking does a, b or c make me seem gay or have they figured out yet I think person x knows why haven't they said anything the paranoia will get to you easier just to come clean.

Now if I could only take my own advice I'd be all set.

Good luck and have fun

 

Don't come out on Facebook unless you know that people will be okay with it, or if people don't care. I find that if you put your personal things on Facebook, it will come back to bite you. The people who you are friends with know you are gay, and other people on Facebook don't need to know about your personal life - unless you want it to be that way. I would say come out after you are in college for a bit because the college lifestyle is a huge change in environment. You will no longer be dependent on your parents, and will have much more freedom. I'm going to move out in a few months here and am looking to do the same thing - can't wait to have my own personal life and be around people I don't know. Other people won't judge me, and I can have my own lifestyle.

 

I'm doing it before collage since In my honest opinion I'd feel a bit backhanded not putting it up front and I might not end up with any decent relationships when I'm not being honest about things.

At least for myself I feel as if I've almost wasted my time being closeted since it can become exhausting trying to keep everything under wraps without placing myself in a situation where I won't be able to be believed when I come out further in time.

However if your worried about the repercussions at home or elsewhere then I'd say you don't have to come out right away, and even if you do you can try to keep it kind of low key and do it primarily at collage. Hopefully you live far enough away word of mouth won't spread too quickly and your parent's won't be all that close in your personal lives.

Personally I know my parents are going to need some help doing things in the future and if they don't accept me they won't be getting it; they can choose to make that trade off. I can always find some kind of temp work for the summer and get a job elsewhere.

 

Listen bro come out asap. Its the best. I was in high school and was some closet case loser haha. I mean sure I played football and loved my friends, and it all but I wish I came out. I was so scared in highschool. I didnt want my teammates to hate me, kick me off, I was so scared. And on the last few weeks of HS i swore that in College I would be me. Nick, the gay guy, who still is himself but honest. Wont pretend to hook up with girls and lie, or talk about girls and be interested.... And its been good! its been all good my friend, I told my old teammates and they dont care one bit. In fact they love me more, well some, some are assholes but screw them lol. (their just big b**tches stupid ass benchwarmers) but all the guys that matter still love me. And my family loves me still. My dad and I still work on cars, go fishing, I try and play tennis but fail.... I changed my status right after the first few weeks in college and while I dont have many or any gay friends lol I have met a few good guys for other things. Like lifting... or.... bedroom fun.... So come out its better trust me! In fact to everyone it maybe cliche but come out. You will find out your worst nightmares will not happen. Don't be a big p*ssy like me, just do it! (I love that line JUST DO IT) haha I swear I have a closet with that just wish I followed it earlier.... Come out, help others, get some.

 

I think this situation can also be looked at without bringing in the gay part. Finding new friends is always scary, and the best way to find friends is always being yourself. If you are a likeable person, and seem secure and happy with yourself you will find people who appreciate that in you.
Now, I've always had a lot of friends (and am only out to three of them since last week) and it hasn't changed how they see me. But in your case, good friends will come to you when you are yourself, and being gay is an important part of that!

Whether you tell the people at home is your choice, but in college it might be refreshing not to hide it! Just tell people if they ask, and see what they think.

 

Big regret of mine was not coming out prior to college. My first roommate was gay, too...

Now, although my friends are pretty accepting, it just makes it super awkward. And that is why I have yet to do so. Maybe when I graduate? IDK.

DO IT NAO.

 

I'll be starting college in September and I think I will wait a bit, just to know the people who will be my classmates Then I plan on coming out, but I fit the stereotype pretty much, so I am quite obvious anyway

 

I would come out shortly after arriving at college. For reasons similar to yours, I stayed buried so far in the closet that I became almost used to staying closeted and didn't mutter a single ounce of truth over my sexuality until I had finished my undergrad. Now, I did make a lot of friends at college, but I can imagine I would have been a lot more relaxed and generally happier had I been in the right mindset to come out. Going to college does provide you with a better chance to be yourself, as everybody you meet is essentially starting a blank slate. You may want to get a general gist of what your roommates and classmates are like, but I wouldn't ponder over it for too long.

With regards to Facebook, however, I would probably just delete which gender you're into altogether, and leave it there (at least for the time being). That's what I did, as I have friends and extended family members who I haven't had chance to speak to since I started coming out, and Facebook isn't where I want them to find out. I may change my mind if I get into a relationship myself, but I do think that giving relationships and sexuality a heavy Facebook dimension can be a bit crass. Two friends of mine who were dating at one point used to post smoochy stuff on each other's walls/timelines incessantly, and it basically came across as a big show (behind closed doors, they were having relationship problems).

In any case, good luck!