Coming out as "not straight"

Oh. My. Gosh. You are my soul sista! Haha! Not to be creepy or anything! But your story sounds just like mine! Except 15 and under I didn't like guys-though I had a boyfriend from age 14 to age 17- just didn't really fall for him until a lot later. I know what it's like to so desperately want to be straight... Not that I am sure I am gay, but I know that I have liked girls my entire life... I sometimes crank my neck to look at a girl in the mall, and before about a month ago, I'd get waaay mad at myself! You are brave, dear! Braver than I! I'm 19 going on 20, and I played the, 'I hate girls, they are giant bitches, why would I ever look at one like that' game for a looooong time. That was my real cover up... And it worked... Because I have such a history of being relentlessly picked on.
I think, personally, that friend needs to screw off! They should be supporting you in your decision to discover this part of yourself! Have you ever told her that this is serious, and that you are really confused, and that you really feel this way?
I told my boyfriend, (now ex boyfriend) that I was gay, and you know what? He supported me. We're still best friends, and he understands I need to figure this out... Since I told him, I've been much happier.
You deserve to be able to figure these things out- WITHOUT the pressures of someone constantly trying to push you.
Maybe you should mention that that bothers you, maybe they don't even realize they are doing it.
Also, you don't HAVE to come out. Be yourself and just figure things out, it's none of anyone's business what your sexuality is... It's yours! YOU need to find you!
Good luck! And talk to me if you need! There's tons of people on here that will probably have their own input on this situation, listen to them too!
*hugs*

 

You must be patient.
I really do understand your frustration, since i went through the whole, questioning myself phase already. Turning towards people when you're sexually frustrated really does not count. sme is a doll, and i guess you should ask her more tips........
I know i didnt help but,,,,, well take care.

 

YFerns- I think anything helps when you are confused! Just encouragement to keep going is helpful! So don't say you didn't help her, because I'm sure you did. I think you're right about sexual frustration- and that really helps me out too. Because I do the same thing she does. I turn to the men when I'm in need of some lovin. But it's not really fulfilling... I can say that. Or hardly ever is.

 

I have come out as not straight and this just fueled a conversation where my mate tried to understand my sexuality better. He did have the initial "might be a phase, yanno?" reaction but the more open I was with him, the more he understood. You don't have to explain to people, of course- I did because he is a close friend and felt comfortable- but it has surely helped.

 

I'm not sure whether its a good idea coming out as not straight or not. I've always had a label (usually wrong), so I've never had that problem. As for figuring out your sexuality, you might try looking at it from a different perspective. Even if you are bisexual, you don't have to date both men and women. Maybe looking into your romantic orientation would help. It is sometimes easier to figure out.

 

At sixteen I just wanted to try everything. I never considered the importance or a label. There is nothing in your post that supports liking guys. I would think when you meet the right person that will clear everything up. Someone you can see spending the rest of your life with.I had lesbian I used to hang around with that was straight when drunk I wonder if that could be used as a test but at sixteen I can’t advise you to drink until you are of a legal age.

 

I have been thinking about your post and I am confused if your post is about deciding which you are or which to come out as. I am in a weird situation which maybe I relate. I am a recovering narcissist which is going through life being what my parents valued and never even knowing who I am or having the guts to be that person. In thinking about your post do you have to make a formal coming out or just start doing what you enjoy and being who you are. In your post you don’t mention what you like to do or the kind or person you would like to do it with. You don't need a label that should come naturally in time.

 

I'm in the same situation..and I don't know particularly how to come out to my sisters...Of the 4 ppl I've came out, I told one of them that I'm might be bi..and to the others only that I like girls (too) without labeling (I think one of them assumed that I'm lesbian... :eusa_thin )

 

Is the confusion expectation weren’t met. I had expectations of sex with a woman fulfilling this need inside me that I had since a kid but at sixteen I was left disappointed afterwards and then tried other girls and a man. It took me a long time to figure out other people can’t make me happy. Sex was actually a way to avoid the need for love. Have you had a lesbian relationship so far or do you feel coming out as not straight will get that started.

 

You don't seem confused just waiting for your first lesbian relationship. I don't know if you need to define yourself to people to find each other it just seems to happen.

 

I had boyfriends all the way through high school, and I know people have been married twice before they fess up. If you know it's true, don't let people take you down about it, or pressure you. You're not even out of high school yet, are you? You need to wait. College is where people start discovering, and choosing to be exactly who they are. (some don't still, but those aren't the people you are waiting for)