So I've written a letter to my mom about who I am.. several times. Several different drafts, several ways of saying it, and they all don't seem to say it just the right way. I've written one, and it's the closest I'll ever get to being the right words. I've put it in an envelope and everything. I'm not sure if I want to give it to her. I don't know if I want to wait until something like Christmas, or if I want to give it to her on Mother's Day. I'm not sure if I just want to leave it for her in the morning for her to come back to after she drops me off at school. I'm just not even sure if this is the right time. My biggest fear is that she won't take me seriously. That she'll call it a phase, or worse, disown me or something. Not let me be myself. I just don't know what to do.
1) How old are you? (If you don't mind me asking) If you want, just give your age range. 2) I think it'd be taken more seriously if you told her with your voice, rather than letter. She's your mom. You should be able to talk to her seriously with your voice. <3 I'll check back and see if you've responded. If not, gl.
I'm 14, and I have social anxiety... speaking to people about serious matters like this one kind of scare me... plus, either way I'm worried about it leading to an argument. I've just heard that a letter would be easier..
Hey, i have social anxiety too and I find it so hard, therefore I am going to write my mum a letter too, I haven't even managed to write a draft yet so your doing really well so far, I would leave it out and let her read it after she drops you off at school, so then she has the day to take in the news.
Just don't do it if you are unsure and not ready.Take your time to think things over again and only do it when you truly feel safe and ready. I hope it goes well when you decide to make a move :hug;
I'd say, use the letter and give it to her while you're at school, like Blue123 said. I'm in the same position. I feel it's easier to write a letter, a lot safer, but I fear it may also be much harder to fully express what you feel to the extent you feel it. Is there ever going to be a right time, I don't know, maybe for some people. I just procrastinate! Just try to do it when you really feel prepared. Also, considering you're age you might want to be careful, your parents still financially support you. That may be a reason to try and wait a little longer, unless you really can't wait anymore. I'm starting to reach that point.
Want to know what I am doing, to kind of warm myself up to telling my mom, dad and super Christian bio dad and family? I bring up the subject of gays occasionally and get there opinions on it. However, if you are not ready to tell your mom yet, don't.
I am completely new to this forum and this is my first Post. I'll tell you a little of my story, I hope will be helpful for your question. I realized I was gay at age 16, when a classmate seemed attractive, but fear and shame made me keep silent. One day at school, there was an incident with a teacher, who openly called me "sissy" in front of the entire class. When I told my parents about that incident, my father took it well and gave me his support telling me whatever it was, or whatever the decision I took over my life, He would still love me above all, because I am his son. I would have expected the same response from my mother, but her answer was: If I had a gay son he couldn't live here anymore... are gay? to what obviously I said "no". Years passed (I am 27), I finished college and I got a very good job. My friends supported me throughout and I started to hang out from time to time with them ... But I did not enjoy anything. My life, my work, my money and everything seemed insufficient. I've never had a partner and the few times I tried to date someone, It didn´t work, which depressed me even more. It was then when I decided to psychological therapy. The therapy was quiet, helped me overcome my anxiety and kept me calm. But It came the day on which I had to face one of my biggest fears: Telling my mom I was gay. Everything made sense at that moment: My lack of relationships and the failure of them was due to the fear that my mother found out, and the lack of motivation and joy of my work and my daily life was due to the lack of sincerity and acceptance to my mother and to myself. So I decided to tell my mother. Past May 1st, I called mom to my bedroom and said I wanted to talk to her. She sat on the bed and looked at me. Firmly and without hesitation I said: Mom, I'm gay. Her eyes filled with tears and began to say that she would not accept my lifestyle. I said I did not expect her to accept my lifestyle, just wanted to be honest with her. After talking a while with her, she confessed that she knew I was gay, but it was the most difficult to accept it and to realize that her suspicions were true. However, her love for me was so great, that she would never hurt me. And that's the real point. Our fears, are ours. And we are the only ones who can decide over our life. Our parents love us always, no matter what. Perhaps the first reaction is not favorable, or as we wished. But over time, they will realize that being gay changes nothing and always will be their children, no matter what happens. Maybe you're not ready to talk to your mother, but in truth, I think there is no "right time" to do so. The right time comes when you're ready and accept yourself. I hope this might help you a little. Regards, Samael.
