So lately my brother has been making a lot of comments about the way I act and dress. He's told my mom that I need to dress more feminen and told me to stop dressing like a "dyke" and go buy some dresses. And it's really been getting on my nerves. Since my mom heard that she keeps saying the same thing. As far as I know my brother is pretty accepting toward gay people and I would really like to come out to him. But I'm worried he will tell my mom. For a long time my sisters and I have thought he was gay and I still think he might be.. Any advice on how I can bring this up to him casually?
Before my older brother came out he often called me gay in various mean ways. I have always been straight but did explore both sides. He did that to draw attention away from him being gay. At the time I imagine he hadn't come to terms with being gay and went to the extreme to prevent anyone from even considering it for a moment. He got lucky when he came out I had gay friends and had been to many of the local bars. When his wife left him for spending all his time with his boyfriend he was forced to tell me before she did. From your post I think you may be in the same place. Your brother seems to be projecting his fear of someone finding out about him. That is a guess that you will have to sort out. If you are in the same position don't expect you brother to accept you as gay until he comes to terms with his issues. My brother came out to me but got his wife to stay by promising her he would stay true to her. So he only came part way out and spent about a decade hiding it from her before giving up and they then lived like brother and sister after that. Its sad he had to hide who he was but hopefully the world will change in the near future. It has come a long way from the era my brother walked this earth. He dyed in 1995 at 37 from AIDS.
