For about the last three months I've begun the process of coming out to my friends. All of them have taken it really well, but considering the fact that my friends are about 65% gay guys it really shouldn't be so much of a shock. There are still a lot who don't know, even in my close group of friends. Mainly because I have a crush on one of the girls we hang out with. Now, to me it wouldn't be such a big deal to tell them, except that she's leaving to go back to Belgium in 2 weeks. I don't want to make things awkward with her, considering I've kissed her (we were drunk) and I know its best if I just wait until she goes home. But I'm at the point in my coming out where it literally kills me inside to sit and not be able to talk about who I like or to simply just say "hey guys, I'm a lesbisn". I hate keeping secrets, especially one as important to me as this one. My parents still don't know and I plan on waiting until college to come out to them. Its hard enough to hide who I am at home, but its even harder to pretend in front of my friends. I just don't know what to do :/ I know once I come out fully I'm going to lose a lot of "friends" I have and that doesn't really bother me anymore.
Man, I know that feel. I want to come out to my friends so badly, but I want to be sure of my sexuality before I come out to anymore people so I don't confuse them. Right now, I'm bi but leaning more on the gay side... but I'm still not sure yet. It kills me that I can't be 100% myself around people yet.. and when one of my friends ask, "what kind of guy/person you like" or "who do you have a crush on" I can't answer because 1, I'm not that into guys (if I really am at all) 2, I have a crush on a girl... and I really can't say that right now lol. btw, I just noticed... we're both from Ohio.
Friends are easy to tell, trust me. Most don't give a shit because they like you for who you are, not your sexual orientation. It may seem like a big deal, but you have to realize you already have a huge support group (your other gay friends) so losing a few along the way is insignificant. It'll weed out the ones who aren't quality friends to begin with anyway. As far as your parents are concerned, you'd be surprised what they know without you having to tell them. My foster dad was the one who told me (age 13 at the time) that he a) knew I was gay b) didn't give a shit and c) said to be careful about what I say to people as we were moving to a more rural city in TX at the time that may not be as accepting (which in the end, they were very gay friendly). That was an eye opener for me! He was pretty neutral about the whole thing honestly. He just said to do whatever made me happy and to not be retarded about it (i.e. - don't sleep with every girl I meet). And you should totally tell the chick you have a crush on that you like her. Hell if you've already kissed (even if you two were drunk) she's probably into you as well on one level or another. Take advantage of it while she's still in the country! @lexcat - You don't have to "come out" to everyone, just be yourself and still kick it with your friends. If you have a crush on a girl, let her know. You'd be surprised how receptive people can be about things. I had a crush on one of my straight friends in HS and I was pretty forthright with it and she politely turned me down but we never stopped being friends. It's much better to just throw your feelings out there because you get a definite response from the other party and you don't have to hold stuff inside anymore (which can get to be painful). It's a live and learn type of thing and it's much better to live life without regrets.
saraph, I know I don't have to come out to everyone, it's just getting harder and harder to be myself around my friends without coming out and I'm sure some of them suspect something. All my high school life people questioned if I was gay or not, I always said "no" because well, I didn't know if I was... I still don't... and I don't want to say I'm something if I'm not for sure and take it back. Idk, it's just something I feel like I have to do myself. And my friend I like... she's bi.. and she knows I like her, but the only issue is we've meet on the internet and we've been talking for 9 months including webcam and stuff. She said it'd probably be different if we didn't live so far apart.. which I understand. We are determined to meet one day, so maybe it's possible in the future.
It scary to come out to your friends. I remember the reason that I came out to my first friend was because of an argument with my former youth group director. It was an accident and I started to cry after I said it... My advice would just be to hint at it. As I became more comfortable with myself, I just hinted it to people and then let them assume that I am gay. Then, when you actually do tell them, it won't be a huge surprise. Also, if they are already asking, they are most likely going to be ok with it. Also, now three people from Ohio have posted in this thread..lol
