Ive written awhile back about falling in love with my best friend and it not working out. It has really helped me through a difficult time. so i hope this will help me out too. So after falling inlove with a guy and having my heart broken. i decided to move to England for a change of scenery. I also came out to a few of my friends and they were all very supportive ofcourse. I decided to try and date guys instead of girls. but im not attracted to ALOT of them.. on dates, i treat it liking hanging out with the guys, like mates. the guys are good looking but i just dont have that attraction as i did with my best friend. whats wrong with me? i put all the guys i date in the friend zone. as for coming out, im not worried about my friends because i know most will be really supportive of me. my family is my main concern and give me stress induced nightmares. just last night i had a skype session with my family. and they asked if im dating anyone. (i have been.. not girls) so i said no im not.. they all have these expectations of me dating a girl. ( i have dated girls primarily in the past) im just not sure whether its the right time to come out.. trying to date guys is not going as i expected..im not really into it. i dont want to come out when im not 100% sure this is for me. any advice?
I have a somewhat similar experience. The only 2 males I've ever been attracted to romantically have been my best friends. I'm thinking that it's possible to be straight with a few exceptions. I haven't come out to anybody so I don't have much advice to give, I'm afraid.
Hi Kumpel, If I may, can I suggest that you are perhaps subjecting your new guy dates to an unfair comparison with your best friend? Which seems to suggest that, perhaps, you are not entirely over with him? I also do not find a lot of guys attractive, but I'm not out to date a lot of guys, just the right guy for me. You say that some of your dates are good-looking. Did you have a chance to get to know them before "friend-zoning" them? Are they attracted to you perhaps and you are still uncomfortable with the outcome of such a relationship (perhaps because of your family issues)? Finally, you need to really ask yourself if you would be sexually attracted to a woman. Honesty is key here, because if you aren't, and you get into a relationship with a woman, it will be horrendously unfair to her, and a nightmare for you.
thanks for the reply guys. maybe i am comparing them to my best friend. but what else can i compare them to if its the only guy ive fallen for? i guess im being unrealistic. My problem is that when i go on dates i treat it like im just hanging out with a friend. i have no romantic intentions whatsoever. i do prefer to get to know them well first before even considering it a date. a few guys ive dated however are very forward and im uncomfortable with it. its just awkward to me and im not into it. it would actually be great if i get into a relationship. that would make dealing with my family easier i feel. i agree it would be unfair if i got into a relationship to a man or a woman and i wasnt being truthful whether i am attracted to them or not i guess its easy for me to be turned on by both genders. in recent explorations with the same sex. i found it difficult to get aroused.. i had to really concentrate. i found this odd cause hasnt happened to me before.
Personally i think you are putting an emphasis on looks...were you physically attracted to your friend from the start or was it after you got to know him and learned more in depth about him that you started falling for him? I think you might just need to find a guy who is similar to you personality wise and try to date that guy, rather than just goingon a date with a severely attractive man who just wants sex and doesn't have much depth to him... just my opinion... good luck
you are right.. i wasnt attracted to my friend to begin with.. it just developed over time. maybe im just expecting things to magically sort itself out.. personality wins for me.. makes them that much more attractive.
