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My Brother told me he is gay, so am i

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Garciano, May 16, 2013.

  1. Garciano

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    Hey guys, im new here by the way :grin:

    so i have this huge problem, My brother just told me, well almost, that he is gay. I am shocked and worried, that Im gay too!! and nobody know, even him!. I cry everyday and i feel anxious day by day. I dont really know what to do so i signed up in here, ive been reading this forum.

    ok so i knew i was gay when i was 13 and admitted it myself when i am 19. im 20 now
    The Problem is were both gay in the family.. i mean thats not a bad thing, but im sure my parents will get hurt by this. Im actually starting to think to just be straight for the sake of my parents.. wow i really need help.

    any thoughts?
     
  2. RedPowerRanger

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    How do you know your brother gay? What are you most worried about with you both being gay? and are your parents religious? Another one is would they accept you being gay? I wouldnt pretend to be straight. But it is up to you when you feel you want to come out the closet. It`s not your fault you are gay. I know all parents want grand kids but you can`t change who you are. You have to live your life. I wish you luck.
     
  3. Garciano

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    thanks for the respond, im pretty certain cos he told me he is with somebody but hes not yet ready to tell, im a bit sure it isnt a girl. My parents are id say homophobic cos they make fun of gays and dislike lesbians so much, so that worries me a lot. thanks again :slight_smile:
     
  4. Hefiel

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    Live for your sake, not the sake of others.

    If you try and force yourself into a (straight) relationship that you're not happy with strictly for your parents, you'll be miserable.

    If your parents loves you, they'll get used to it. If they don't, move on with your life. You'll be better off this way.
     
  5. Ettina

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    Maybe you should come out to your brother first?
     
  6. Candace

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    This is so strange, but there's nothing wrong with this. Maybe tell him first?
     
  7. WanderingGhost

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    I think you should tell him you're gay but only if you're absolutely sure his partner isn't a girl. That means you'll have a gay friend!! :grin: As for your parents, you shouldn't change who you are for the sake of someone else. You'd be pushing those feelings inside and try to keep them locked and then you'd just end up fighting yourself.
     
  8. PurpleRain

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    Don't force yourself to abide by a straight life style. You'll be hurting yourself and the person that you eventually wind up in a relationship with. It's much better to be yourself than anything. It may hurt some people for a little while, but eventually it'll all work out.
     
  9. Garciano

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    If i tell him im sure hell be shock! haha suddenly were gay brothers. Sometime in the future maybe ill tell him,, if i can. Thanks for the advice :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 16th May 2013 at 09:39 AM ----------

    i definitely agree! thanks for that! thanks for the advice :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 16th May 2013 at 09:44 AM ----------

    i was about to come out to him before, even before i didnt know he was gay. I Kept talking how gay marriage is okay with me and Anderson cooper coming was out cool. and after than i lost my nerve telling i am gay. until now no one knows

    ---------- Post added 16th May 2013 at 09:46 AM ----------

    Thanks a lot all for your advices! i felt a heavy burden is removed from my shoulder. thanks a lot

    ---------- Post added 16th May 2013 at 09:52 AM ----------


    i really really do hope they would accept me if id come out. they seem to trust me on having kids and a wife, i dont really wanna hurt them or myself, thanks for that advice
     
  10. Revan

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    I think you should tell him, but at least then it will allow him to know he can tell you. But DON'T bring up you thinking he's gay or anything like that. Doing so especially if he's actually straight...not a good thing. Just tell him though you want to talk if you're pretty sure he's comfortable with gay people and tell him.
     
  11. AaronMed

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    You should tell him. I'm not surprised, considering there's strong scientific evidence of a genetic cause for homosexuality (wrote a paper on it).

    Having a family member who's gay too will be a great addition to your support network :slight_smile:.