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help?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by gao_89, Dec 28, 2006.

  1. gao_89

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2006
    Messages:
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    so, here's my story... I'm a high school senior and after 3yrs of denial and a whole mess of other emotions, I accepted that I'm gay over the summer. I came out to my mom (who I've always had a great relationship with) and she took it better than I first did!

    Anyway, I don't really have close friends that I can talk to. I have friends at school but I don't hang out with them after. So I guess my question is should I come out to them since we are going to college and will probably never see each other again in a few months, or just not tell them? I'd like to tell them, and they will definitely be fine with it, but I wouldn't know how, especially since I can't seem to talk to one person individually and don't feel comfortable screaming "I'm gay!" in a big group
     
  2. Hi gao. Welcome to EC.

    If you'd like to tell them, then I say tell them. If you don't feel comfortable shouting it out to a large group, you could just resolve that the next time something related comes up, you'll just mention it somehow, very nonchalantly.

    W/ most of my friends, I just slipped it into a random e-mail while I was telling them a story about my day. "All these guys were talking about how hot Becky looked in that red thing she was wearing, but I really didn't see what all the fuss was about. But, hey, maybe that's just b/c I'm gay." And then like months later, one of them brought it up while we were all hanging out. He was like, "Okay, so you're gay? When did this happen?"

    Don't know if that's standard, but it worked for me. Good luck!
     
  3. tinkergeek

    tinkergeek Guest

    First off, welcome to the forums! Second, glad to hear you came to accept yourself! Third, congratulations on telling your mom; these are all great steps.

    So, you may never see your friends again? But, you will have to live forever second guessing what might have happened. If you don't want or feel a need to tell them, then that's perfectly fine. If there is a part of you that wants to tell them, let that part run free. If you know they'll be good with it, what's in your way?

    Telling them can be the easy part. If you guys talk over an instant messaging service, go for it. Or, if you know their email addresses, that's a good option too. Or, you can use the divide and conquer method during school. Or, you can just broad-wave it in front of the entire group. Or, you could have a party and meet them outside of school for a change.

    Personally, I like the divide and conquer approach. Groups can take on a mob mentality and be weird, but a single person is much easier to just talk with. I usually just drop it in normal conversation.. Because really, when doesn't dating and such come up?

    Good luck!
     
  4. gao_89

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2006
    Messages:
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    thanks for all the help everybody!