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I'm really confused

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by pressured, Apr 14, 2008.

  1. pressured

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    hi i've havent been on in a while but i have this problem

    you see i like dressing up like a guy at home when i can but i don't think i'm trans gender cause i still like guys and i'm a little liking girls as well i think i'm confused but i don't know help :confused:
     
  2. Quitex

    Quitex Guest

    I guess any of our awesome transgendered members can give a more accurate response, but if you feel in the wrong body, there is nothing much you can do about it. This is: If you're in a female body but you want to be a man, and still have feelings for men, while maybe having some for female too it's ok. Being transgendered doesn't mean you have to act one way. You can be Trans-heteroish, as Divadayra, or you can be Trans-gay (as being Female-to-Male and liking boys) and in your case, youd be Trans-bi. However you want to call it, the most important thing for you is to feel comfortable and to love the way you are, no matter how other people may react.

    (*hug*) Give yourself time to discover who you are, well be here to support you no matter what. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Louise

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    Sorry I can't be of much help either but I will say, give yourself time, accept yourself for who you are without giving yourself a lable. If you like dressing up as a boy, fine, if you like boys and girls fine. Do you need a lable. Things change as we grow up and our tastes define themselves. Leave yourself open and let yourself be who you want to be at that moment and little by little things will fall into place.

    I hope someone with more experience in this area will be able to help you more :kiss:
     
  4. Gumtree

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    I agree whole heartedly with Louise.

    Your only 16 hun, there is no pressure on you to decide who and what you are from anybody except yourself. You have a lifetime to experience and grow, and as time goes on you will become more comfortable in who and what you are. Try hard not to label yourself anything, because people will perceive you as you want them to.

    One of my favorite quotes from a teacher at my school.

    Succumb not to a stereotype.
    But strive to grow as someone unique.
     
  5. justjoshoh

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    As Quitex was indicating, there is no correlation between gender and sexuality. Each are independent of the other. As far as labels are concerned, they are overrated. Though, it is human nature to want to label. We find it easier to handle things when we have a classification system and everything fits into those classes perfectly. Nonetheless, unless you are ready to determine a label, there isn't a need to rush to one. As everyone said above, love who you are no matter who you are.
     
  6. ccdd

    ccdd Guest

    I'm not transgendered myself, but I will try my best from what I know.

    You seem to have two things concerning you here: gender identity and sexual orientation. There is no correlation between gender identity and sexual orientation, so who you like has nothing to do with whether you are transgendered or not. You can be transgendered and straight, bi or gay, just as non-transgendered people can be straight, bi or gay. Therefore, try and think of the problems separately.

    I think the big question re gender identity is probably:
    What do you feel when you think of yourself living as a woman for the rest of your life?

    Does this idea really upset and terrify you? Is it even possible? Do you feel much happier thinking of yourself in the future as a man?

    Remember also, that whilst some people feel that they cannot live in their genetic gender, as they are really the other, and have to go through transition (hormones, surgery etc) in order basically to survive, others have more fluid gender identities which don't involve actual transition, but which involve things like dress and behaviour.

    Only you can really know but I hope this helps a little (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)
     
    #6 ccdd, Apr 15, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 15, 2008
  7. pressured

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    (*hug*) thanks guys you really help a lot
     
  8. damagedone

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    dressing as a guy doesn't necessarily mean that you are trans. There are lots of women who enjoy dragging as guys there's a good little video on logo online:
    http://www.logoonline.com/shows/dyn/coming_out_stories/videos.jhtml
    it's one of the coming out stories i think it's episode 6.
    http://www.ftmi.org/
    The website above also has alot of different resources for ftm trans folk.
    At this point I would echo the advice of gumtree and louise. You're young and dont need to pressure yrself into making such life altering declarations as "I'm trans" or "I'm a lesbian". At this point you should just relax. Take some of the weight off yr shoulders and dont worry. You have all the time in the world to make that decision

    RFB