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Confused bromance

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Ilybaby01, May 17, 2013.

  1. Ilybaby01

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    Good afternoon everyone. I made an EC account because I would like to get some answers and help on the confused bromance I am in. I'm 24 years old, and my best friend is 25. I love him to death and he doesn't know that I'm bi. We have a weird friendship that confuses me each and everyday. I say this because it makes me question his sexuality and whether or not if I should tell him that I'm bi.

    It all started during my first year in middle school. We first met during our Physical Education class. He sat behind me and gave me a smile when we both sat down at our assigned seats. I gave him the head nod of "wassup" and hid my smile. Later on in the day, we bumping into each other; having being in the same few classes. We started to hang out and got to know one another during our classes, lunch and P.E. One day, there was this guy that was making fun of my voice and started calling me gay. My best friend, heard him and immediately told him off saying, "stop making fun of my best friend!" That's when I realized that we were going to be great best friends.

    Having a crush on my best friend had made it very hard for me to focus at times. We both were young, horny and going through puberty. At that time, I wanted to tell him so bad but I kept on thinking about our friendship and I didn't want to risk breaking that bond we had. During P.E., I first started to question his sexuality when we asked me to see if I was growing hair down there. I told him yes and he had asked me to see it as proof. After we showed each other I noticed he was blushing. So I just smiled and walked away. The second time was when we were changing into our clothes, he came up behind me and grabbed a handful of my butt, giggled and ran away. The third time was when we was playing basketball, he tapped my penis and said "I bet mine is bigger!" The fourth time was when we were doing our exercises, he told me to look at his bulge to see if it was noticeable and started to compare it with mines. Now the lists goes on during our junior years, so you would think I would of told him by now? With all the confused signs he would give me, I still didn't tell him about me nor asked about him.

    We separated during our high school years and lost contact with each other ever since. I always wandered what my life would be like if I should of told him and kept in contact. I guess life was giving me another chance when I reconnected with him just a year ago.

    I went to a new restaurant where they just had been open for a few weeks. I walked in the door and was meeting up a friend for a late lunch. As I spotted my friend and was walking towards the table, I heard a familiar voice calling my name. Now given that it's been ten years, and I stopped having people calling me by my middle name and started to use my first name after high school. So immediately, I knew it would be someone from junior or high school that was calling me. As I looked to my left, there was my bestfriend sitting at the table, smiling, happily to see me. I was shocked, my body felt frozen and my heart nearly dropped! I couldn't believe after ten long years, there was my first guy crush, my best friend! So I tried to play it cool, and gave him the head nod of "wassup" like back in junior high. And quickly walked towards my friend waiting for me at the table. I was speechless, I couldn't even drink my water. All of a sudden I was not hungry anymore. After calming down and talking to my friend. I was looking down on my phone and suddenly I felt a hand caressing the back of my shoulder. As I looked up, it was bestfriend and he said "wells hey, aren't you going to get up and give me a hug!?" Again, I tried to play it cool. I got up and gave a regular hug. We chatted for about ten minutes and exchanged numbers. When I got home, I was so excited and was upset with myself because I wanted to give him a bigger, and longer hug!

    A few weeks past by and I asked him to hang out at the bar with me and another middle school friend that I had recently reconnected with. That night brought back so many memories and made me think about questioning him again. After having a few shots of alcohol and a few mix drinks, I went outside for a smoke break. He came up to me and accidentally pressed him hand on my crotch. He looked up to me and said, "sorry bro, I think I'm really buzzed!" And started giggling. I got excited afterwards and told him, "it's okay, keep drinking since I'm driving!" After the club, we all went to go eat at a local 24 hours dinner near home. We both went to bathroom to go urinate. As I walked up to the opening stall, he went next to me and said, "hey want to look at my penis? It's really big and fat!" I was shocked and I really wanted to say yes I do! But instead I just laughed and said, "hurry up and pee Big Dick!" He smiled at me, washed his hands and left to the table.

    A year has passed since we've been hanging out and he still acts the same way. Especially when he's drunk. Sometimes when we're not drinking he would always tell me he's horny that he needs a girlfriend. But here is where it all goes to a blank... While talking over the phone, he randomly throws in the question, "are you gay?" I quickly answered, wells what do you think? He then laughs it off and we both changed the subject. Things are still the same between me and him but there be days where I just want to tell him I'm bi but I don't know where to begin!?
     
  2. Hefiel

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    Muster up your courage, call him and say that you have something important to tell him, meet up somewhere and say you're bi. Or you could send him a text, email or tell him on the phone, that is up to you.
     
  3. MixedNutz

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    Ok. I'd tell him.

    In middle school sexuality can be confused with curiosity. However he is a grown man now, and still the penis talk? He seems to be giving you a chance to do something.

    It is rare that a straight friend will continually ask you if your gay. Maybe he's asking because he is gay or bi?

    If he is your close best friend, he should know the real you. What if he reacts badly? Do you want him as a close best friend if he can't accept you for you?:thumbsup:

    Keep us updated.
     
  4. remainnameless

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    All I can say is tell him the truth. Do something insane, and call him right now. You'll never get the answers to your questions unless you talk to him.
     
  5. bagginses

    bagginses Guest

    `Text is the best way to go.
    -then you can ignore it for a while if it all goes wrong.

    Or tell your other friend to tell him. make it seem like it was accidental that he found out. Then when he asks you just say "I was planning on telling you."
     
  6. Ahri

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    I think you should tell him. Like you said, life's giving you another chance! Take it! You might not have another one

    Since this post is from awhile back, did it work out? I'd love to know what you did !
     
  7. Chip

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    I'd give it 90% chance that he's gay. And I'd also give it a pretty good chance he's interested in you.

    When we are truly living life at its fullest, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. There's a possibility we'll get shot down... but there's also a possibility that we'll be appreciated and loved for taking the chance we took. And in this case, I don't think there's much of any downside to opening up to him and seeing where it leads.

    So I'd say... just go for it. Don't wait, don't plan some big elaborate deal, just... text him or call him or send a smoke signal or something. Get it out there and see what comes about from it :slight_smile:
     
  8. speedracing22

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    Tell him! If it's too hard to say it, get him drunk first - then tell him!
     
  9. KnownSecret

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    Tell him the truth with those signs I don't think it would affect your relationship as friends! It might make it stronger! Maybe he already thinks your bi or gay from when you were talking and he asked you if you were gay, and if you did come out maybe he reaction would he oh I know bro :wink: And possibly he would come out as well because the signs he's showing just screams gay/bi and he seems like he always has had a thing for you! You probably share 1 similarity already he was your first crush and you were his it seems :slight_smile: Good luck I hope you the best with coming out to him!

    ~Zack~
     
    #9 KnownSecret, Jun 9, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2013