Since the last couple of weeks, I have a really strong and intense feeling that I have to flirt. I want to flirt as hell. I am checking out guys ALL the time, so much that I wonder how I haven't been exposed yet. I want to find hot guys and simply fool around. So, there are several guys at my university that I would die to flirt with. But the problem is that if I do so and one of those guys turns out to be straight, rumors that I am gay will spread at the speed of light, and I wouldn't like that. The first answer that comes to mind is that I should go flirt elsewhere, eg at a gay bar. But I spend so much time at university that I barely have the time to go out. I also want to have a friend next to me to tell him/her all the fiery details, but I don't want to drag my friends to a gay bar. They would feel really awkward. Then again, I would definitely not go all alone to a gay bar, at least not yet. Furthermore, I want to flirt more often than just once a week at a bar. And finally I would be really glad if I found a hotty from university so that we could be together daily, with the prospect of a long-term relationship. So what do you suggest? Is there a safe way or do I have to take the risk? Or should I just give up dreaming of flirting at university and either accept the situation as it is or make more time and go out to hunt the perfect guy?
Unfortunately no... This situation kind of depresses me. Tonight I dreamed that I was flirting with a guy and it was so nice. I really want to have a more active sexual life, but I am not the kind of guy who would go out to make it happen. For example, if I were straight, I would have had a bunch of short-term relationships and then I'd find a nice girl to settle down. But I am not straight so there you have it....
Hehe, even straight people are clumsy when they first flirt, so don't feel too bad about it. I used to have the same fear when I was younger. When I was 19 or so, I remember walking down the hall of some public building, a hospital I think? There was this really hot guy about the same age as me bent over a desk reaching for something. I had only recently come to terms with my sexuality at the time, so I kinda dared myself to check him out. You know, it was to force myself to get over the whole same-sex shame thing. So as I was walking by, I turned my head and stared at his perfect ass for a solid 6-7 seconds. I was smiling because I thought I'd gotten away with something when I looked up and saw an old man with a white beard and shocked face staring at me. I had always feared that moment, being seen as a faggot in a very public way. But the world didn't end; not only did I feel no shame whatsoever, to my surprise, but I kept smiling and laughed as I walked down the hall. Never saw either of 'em again, but I gave the old man a nice story for his friends :roflmao::roflmao::roflmao: I love being out and it simplifies everything. Not sure why you don't want to be out at uni though. If everyone knows you're gay then guys start hitting on you. That's actually more fun :icon_wink I get it; there are always homophobic assholes, even at uni. But you're going to have to deal with them at some point, you can't avoid them by staying in the closet forever. In fact, you should be pissed at them for complicating your dating life. Most people won't care or do anything once you're out; if they're uncomfortable then that's some insecurity they have. Besides, you're going to have to out yourself at some stage in interacting with a potential boyfriend, so it's not like you really can avoid it. I understand if you're nervous now, but why don't you look into starting an LGBT group on your campus. Being out around straight people can be awkward, but usually in a funny way rather than a horrifying way. Lot's of Love, (&&&) -Fey
I think flirting with other guys always carries the risk of you being outed. But yes, if you are looking for a long-term relationship you should make more time with it. I think in order for you to really establish an intimate relationship with someone, you must first be true to everyone so that you can truly accept and deal with what might adversely happen. Imagine if a certain person whom you don't likely want to find out, finds out that you and this guys are dating, would you say,"Yes that's true" or do otherwise?(presuming that you and this guy have been in a secret relationship for a long time) remember that if you say otherwise, it could hurt your partner's feelings which will lead to both of you most probably breaking up. Anything that is secret will probably be disclosed in the future, and hiding in the closet will just complicate your partnered life.
