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Is he gay?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Trotodo, May 19, 2013.

  1. Trotodo

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    There's been a boy in my class I've had a bit of a crush on for quite a while. It has gotten to a point where I need advise from the LGBT community on what I should do or what he is.

    The boy is very religious, mentions being catholic many times. He likes trucks, is big into football, and is your typical southern swamp guy who hunts and loves duck. I'm out and proud at my school, just not alot of people know about me being gay, because I don't act like it at all.

    I often catch him making eye contact with me, as if he wants to talk to me. He hasn't had a girlfriend since 7th grade. My good female friend, who is decently attractive, asked him to Homecoming and he said no, and then he ended up going alone (I actually ended up dancing with her). I confessed to him I was gay (It was a new school so he was one of the first I told) and he said he doesn't have a problem with it at all. I wear a rainbow gay-pride belt to school sometimes and his good friend called me out on it. The boy I like, to my surprise, defended me. "Why are you straight and wear a rainbow belt?" asked his friend. "Whats so weird about that, hell I would wear one!" the boy I liked said back at him jokingly. Before he knew I was gay he gave me rides to school but had to stop because his parents didn't like that he was driving someone else to school.

    I don't really know where to go with this and I want to know more about him. He's a clean-cut guy who is not very feminine but tends to talk to either his close guy friends or talks to girls. He is a very good listener and he keeps secrets (since after 6 months of being out, he never even mentioned it to his friend, hence thats why his friend called me out on my belt), and he started styling his hair ever since I commented his hair was a funny straight cut (I really suck at flirting, cant you tell:tears:slight_smile:

    I was massaging my friends back (female) and he kept looking over. Also when I talk about plans over the weekend etc. he often tries to get in on it and ask where I'm going.

    I'm sure I am not leaving out any details, I'm trying to recall from my memories. :bang:

    I need some advise on what to do :help:
     
    #1 Trotodo, May 19, 2013
    Last edited: May 19, 2013
  2. UndercoverGypsy

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    He sounds like he likes you, but is in the closet. Make it clear that if he wants to tell you anything, you're there for him, but don't try to pry him out. Just the fact that after you made one comment on his hair he started styling it shows that he cares quite a bit about your opinion. Good luck.
     
  3. KingdomKeyDK

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    I definitely think he is into you. Just take it slow, and maybe, just maybe, something might happen. It sounds just like in the movies, really. Also, try asking around. Ask some of his close friends (but not the one that called you out).
     
  4. Trotodo

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    We only have two days of school left and I don't know how to slyly ask for his number. I'm a city kid and hes a country kid. Although, I am looking for a second job and I could apply to the Subway he works at!!
     
  5. UndercoverGypsy

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    Dude. You seem like you're friends with him, and having the numbers of friends is completely normal. Just ask him his number.
     
  6. Trotodo

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    He is more of an acquaintance than a friend. Maybe its just me. I can talk to him one on one but in a big group I wouldn't go to him individually and talk to him. Asking him to hang out would be odd as well. I know how to get his number but meeting up is difficult. While our female friends are the same, his male friends are different cliques.:icon_sad:
     
  7. UndercoverGypsy

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    I guess I misread the situation... Maybe try going out to a movie or something with a bunch of your female friends (including him), and get his number to help organize it?
     
  8. Trotodo

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    I could ask him if I could go hunting with him one day. If he liked me, he would try to organize something. I did say I want to see what Louisiana has to offer me (Im from New York City).

    My biggest concern is that he is very religious thus he may be suppressing any gay impulses or thoughts. Although he once implied (from a joke) that he does masturbate to porn, so he is sexually active in that sense.
     
  9. TJ

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    Just slip out something in class about hanging out over the summer, and get his digits.
    Sounds like a cute situation though. :wink:
     
  10. Candace

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    Spend more time with him in order to find out more info. You ever know. I like where this is going, no doubt hehe :wink:
     
  11. BlueBear

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    "Before he knew I was gay he gave me rides to school but had to stop because his parents didn't like that he was driving someone else to school."

    I am thinking no love connection. I don't see anything in your post to suggest his being gay.
     
  12. RainbowMan

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    Really? I see that he started styling his hair after the OP made a comment on it, so yeah, I can definitely see something there.

    You mention that he's extremely religious, he might be suppressing any sort of gay desire out of shame, but it definitely sounds like he might (key word: might) be gay/bi and like the OP.
     
  13. Tusker

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    Hi,:smilewave i am new to the site, & maybe my comment won't mean much since i am not out openly to anyone but this site, however i've never been in such situation, & you sound like a person confident in your skin but my advice, i think you should be careful, gays/lesbians are a pretty small percentage in the world, & it would be a bold move to assume he is gay, i could be very wrong, you don't have to take my advice but just don't get hurt; he may happen to just be a nice person & want to be your friend, some people are just like that:icon_wink have you tried maybe instead bringing up a gay related issue & link it to the conversation? maybe that way you might get some type of answer, i am sure for some the signs may be there, but it wouldn't be wise to just assume that he is closeted, especially if you have your hopes up; instead just try to be the persons friend, & if he is gay then alright, if not then that's alright as well:thumbsup:
     
  14. UndercoverGypsy

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    But the worst thing that could happen is that he says no. Life would go on as usual, except by that time they would both be clear on eachother's boundaries.
     
  15. Typhoon

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    One of my friends is a very religious Catholic, who I also had a crush on. I was very surprised to learn he is gay.

    You also get religious people who are gay. You even find gay groups who meet for the purpose of discussing religion or out-gay priests who offer spiritual guidance.
     
  16. Trotodo

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    OP here, im actually going tubing with a group of his friends. A major thing may be is that he is just a nice person. I have a female cathloic friend (female) who will not date until college, is very nice, but is not nnecessarily approving but she does accept. He could be the same. Ive had a past of getting close to straight guys (one of them even kissed me, but couldnt grt hard down there), so I know well not to get too hopeful. I told him im gay second semester. If he was truly willing to try to reach out to me he would have. If he is gay, religion is really holding him back.
     
  17. BlueBear

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    I think that the friend stopped driving him to school is the most important part of the OP's post as the distance between them is getting larger instead of smaller. If he was interested he would have found a replacement for that time together which isn't in the OP's post. There isn't enough information to think the friend is gay.

    ---------- Post added 21st May 2013 at 12:29 PM ----------

    In High School I had a male friend comment on getting my hair done which I did as I wanted to be popular with the girls. I never considered this as anything other than someone helping me fit in.
     
    #17 BlueBear, May 21, 2013
    Last edited: May 21, 2013
  18. Trotodo

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    OP update, he looked back and made eye contact with me right before I left school grounds until this fall lol. Anyways, Bluebear I believe the whole giving a ride isn't a big deal. He really doesn't drive anyone to school. Whats scratching my head the most is why he said no to the dance, and ended up going alone anyways.

    ---------- Post added 21st May 2013 at 03:47 PM ----------

    Welcome to Empty Closets! :slight_smile: Actually you've probably been here longer than me, but I would try to be rational with everything. I'm not throwing my body to anybody.

    For bluebear, thank you for looking at it pessimistically (no really!). While it would be easy to daydream of him being gay, reality is he mightve changed his hair just because i said it and he felt it was time to change. And he couldve not danced with the girl because he felt awkward or it was against his religion (Catholicism, though I doubt it is). Whatever the case may be, I'm applying to his work for a 2nd job, knocking out two birds with one stone! Getting a 2nd job and learning more about him hopefully.

    If I get it that is :***:
     
  19. BlueBear

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    I am not being pessimistically. My gut feeling is that you may end up having sex with him but it will leave him very confused but that may just be my past speaking up. At the time I never considered how having sex with people would change them.
     
  20. Kenny207

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    Try knowing him abit more, he maybe be really confused as he was growing up in an environment where being gay is a bad choice.