I really hate the term love, but I met a guy who is very vocal about his straightness. Meeting him a year ago was like being hit with a bolt of lightning. He's particularly vocal about being straight because I am sooo not out of the closet but we've kind of talked about if I was really straight for a month or two, and he says he didn't want to lead me on in case I was. I'm a 6 year veteran of the armed services, got my degree and am going back as an officer hopefully. We met in college and he's more than likely enlisting, so that's why we hit it off at first. Six months ago we started spending a lot more time together...working out to get ourselves in really awesome shape...but then we started really spending time together doing harmless things...lunch...a movie or two...paintball, the movies were usually with other guys, only one movie with just the two of us. Anyway I denied up and down that I was anything but straight and much to my disappointment he says he's been hooking up with a girl from work that I have virtually no evidence of, not that I had any that I was straight. Anyway we've been really dancing around this issue for three months...we never touch except for genuine accidental ones, there's a lot of enuendo that's dropped between the two of us, he'll occasionally go without a shirt, and drops little facts that have to do with gay culture and homosexuality in history but always has an excuse for why he knows it. Anyway I seriously screwed up and got seriously faded at a party and was apparently fooling around with a guy who was out and proud...that was interesting for a lot of people especially the guy I'd like to get with. Now we're about to see each other and workout for the first time since the incident...HELP!!! We've texted, some of mine were saying its cool if you want to just go our seperate ways but he responds as he always has 'its cool dude I don't care' but recently he added if you want to talk I'll listen. So wtf should I do? How do I fix this or even better hook up?
Okay so it's great that I got a bunch of views but its like seven hours till I see him again thanks people for all the helpful replies...oh wait...
hey honey, welcome to EC! well i know its hard for you but im not sure if everyone has the time or feels confident enough to give advice to others, most of the time im not, because i dont want to make things worse, and i just came out recently, so please dont make these witty remarks, this place is for support and helpful advice and not that kind of thing but anyway, if he is into men or not i have no idea, but he might just be interested to talk to you because he may think you are going through a lot at the time, so you should just come and talk to him about it, what you been going through and such, if youre not confortable, dont tell him you like him yet, give it a bit more time
Hey man, sounds to me like its pretty clear he knows you are not exactly 100% straight after this incident. So you can choose to talk to him about this stuff if you want, he sounds cool and willing to listen which is awesome. I would not suggest coming on to him at all at this point. If he is interested in you he will most likely make a move. Maybe not anytime soon, but when he feels more comfortable. The ball is definitely in his court now if he is not entirely straight. So if I were you I would just chill and not blow the friendship you have with this guy cause at the very least he could be a good dude to continue to be friends with. Also, just from what you told us, my first impression was that he is straight. Are there any other things that might make you think otherwise?
It's possible he's gay, it's possible he's straight. But it's clear he's OK with you being gay. So just carry on assuming he's straight, and maybe you have a wonderful straight friend... or maybe in time, if he's not straight, he'll have the courage to start coming out. I would absolutely not push anything or even twist his arm to question himself, because if he's not ready, it will just alienate him. On a separate note: EC has about 15x the number of people who read the site as people who are members and post. So if your page gets 150 views, it means, statistically, only about 10 people who saw your post would be able to respond to it. Posting and complaining about not getting responses generally doesn't encourage people to respond faster (it often does the opposite) and sometimes some posts just take a bit longer than others to get responses.
Alright sincerely, thank you guys and girls for your feedback. I apologize for being a little impatient. The very good news is it went remarkably well and no I kept my real feelings for him quiet. We had a long talk and it actually clears up a lot of slight tension. I think we seem to trust each other more. In other news he expressed interest in going to a gay club because I haven't gone to one in a long time and the last time I was alone and it didn't go well. He says its to try to confirm the rumors of straight girls feeling more comfortable in a gay club and show support of course...hmmm...who knows.
