Ok so I've come out to some people but not family. Being gay isn't something I really ever talk about and you can't really tell by looking at me. My sister has no idea and she is very homophobic. I've seen her teach this way of thinking to her kids too and it really bothers me. I'm worried if I tell her she will be mad or won't let me see her kids anymore ( she has 4 young kids who I'm very close to) This is really hard for me cuz my sister is all the family I really have and we are actually really close. I realize coming out to family is the next logical step for me but I'm terrified of telling her! Any advise from people who have been through a similar situation? Thanks
It's more serious than that cuz it would really be a loss for me too if she didn't want me around anymore! :tears:
Maybe make it clear when you come out that nothing is different about you than before and that you still want to be close. Quite often, homophobes are only homophobes until they find out that one of their family members is gay.
It's quite obvious that it's going to be hard, and you won't be able to know her reaction ahead of time. But YOU deserve peace of mind, and SHE deserves to know you love her enough to have told her. Maybe it won't go well, and that's going to be hard, but entirely her fault. NOT yours, and don't ever think that, not even in the darkest part of your mind, not ever, because if it goes wrong it won't be because of you. Tell your sister because you love her, and if she loves you, she'll come around to it. If she doesn't, you have all of us here to be with you for it. Good luck (*hug*).
I agree that it's more serious and complicated... :eusa_thin Personally I didn't come out to my sisters yet and I'm trying to figure out how and when I'll do it (soon I hope). However, a couple of months ago I came out to one of my best friends who was homophobic (used to make some homophobic comments and jokes..). At the beginning it was a shock for her..she even told me that she couldn't say that everything was going to be ok but she supported me cause I was important for her..It was kind of weird talking and even sawing her, but then we started to talk like always. One day we talked about me coming out to my sisters and she told me that if they care about me they'll understand like she did..that it'll take some time but at some point they will.. and that this doesn't make you someone different just because of it..
If she's your sister, and you are very lose to her she will understand although she might be mad or upset at first. I've seen this kind of situation, it's with my uncle confessing to the whole family that he is gay. it took a long time before he and my father started talking though. And I hope that once you come out to her, that won't happen to you.
I suggest testing her with something less life changing first. You could gauge her reaction by telling her you offer support to gays coming out on a website forum.
