So I'm a logical person at most times, and through my life I've lived my life the way you think a boy grows up. I like being a little rough games are fun, tough on the inside. But I don't know psychology of my past is a little screwed course who's isn't, and know matter how many times I look at it I still feel the same. And somehow my mind feels like a split know I need help. I feel strong when I want to say I like guys. With how they say you can be anything you want when your older I dreamt of being a mom, But I knew I wasn't at some point but still always dreamt about it every time when i went to sleep. So I thought like a guy should be strong like girls, But I always have this bad feeling in my thoughts heart and yet I get a boner and so i'm like I can like girls plus who doesn't want a girl in a guys body. Confusion maybe I like guys Idk personally I've always masturbated to guys but not in an anal way like as if i was a girl. But I don't want to do anything rash cause I've done stuff like that before but this I've thought about all my life? Ahh I just don't know what to say thoughts.:help:
I've got lots of thoughts, but no one wants to read all of those. lol Welcome to EC! It sounds like you are dealing with gender identity and sexual orientation all wrapped together. If I were you break the issues up into two and tacle them one on one. I can't really give you advise on gender identity, but as far as sexual orientation goes, just cause you can get a boner doesn't mean much. Let's put it this way: which would you prefer to be with, guys or girls and if you can't decide that's fine too?
Yea I'm sorry about putting all that stuff I just don't know how to talk about any of this. And tackling them seperatly does sound good but they feel all wrapped up together. When I think of myself as either gender I feel like I should like the other gender. I mean maybe it's just cause I wasn't born a girl and I would Like to know what it is, and the mystery is the only thing that makes me want it. Or that I actually do like feeling like I want and should like guys not girls and to be what I want not just who I want. ?
You are trying to cover too much at once and that makes it hard to follow. I would suggest finding what about being a mom you value. Sometimes thinking of how you would like to be is actually what you need from someone else. In this case it may be what you need from your mom. I am making a guess based on your post. You need a starting place.
Well the main thing is I think that started it all was the feel and know of a baby someone new in your belly is growing, idk. Like the kicking and the heart beat, idk. But over the years it has grown, the kids loving there mom more. dad's always being second nature,expecially when there now there. I just don't know I can see myself more clearly accepting the word as a girl than a boy, I have grown to know that girls bleed once a month and idk I still feel that is better than being a guy. Having a child love you for you is awesome. But I'm not even me why live in a world that wants you, but won't let you be you??? I just want to be able to be what I want AND who I want. This World or god as some people say feels like it toys with me on what I want??? It's so confusing cause I like everything that is woman and girly But I was born a guy and I don't want to be them. Because there disgusting and assholes at most but there sexy and attractive, but I only feel like a girl when i think like that. And when I like girls I'm in guy mode but it's like a depressive mode more than guy at all I'm so confused. I like feeling like a girl, because I can dress the way I want, Like who I want (boy or girl), and I just feel more alive I like all the stuff that is girl except i can't feel it and know that periods actually suck??????? Please help, I think I'm gay or trans but Idk they both get mixed up with each other. And I 've been to a therapist but I've stopped going because I am scaered. Scared of all the people I'll dissapoint if i choose wrong(including myself). I don't want anymore people to think bad of me, and Know they won't if I choose to be a girl, But I just don't want to be wrong??? Being a mother, because that feeling you get when they kick is uncomparible in my opinion plus that feeling of being shit is easy when your a guy(trust me there more scuicidal by scale. I've always been like that to but only because of wanting to be something else. I wish I could be me helping others, But instead I'm depressed little man instead of a girl who wants to save the world idk
