Well, we had a dance at our school tonight and I got asked to dance by quite a few guys. (And for anyone who actually remembers me mentioning me having a girlfriend, we're no longer together... although we're back to being friends and there's no hard feelings so everything is good). But here's the thing... every single guy I danced with, I simply didn't enjoy it at all. The one guy made me feel like I was being, well... raped (groping my boobs, ass... he made an attempt to put his hands between my thighs but I dug my nails in and yanked his damned hands back to my waist) and normally I don't put up with that kind of thing at all... except, I let him do it because I was desperately hoping I might like it just a little bit if I willed myself to... but I didn't... at all... I was just there, not giving a shit either way. Most of the other guys had a lot more respect, and then it still just did nothing for me. I just danced, acted like I was having fun, and smiled nicely at the ends of the songs at whoever I'd been dancing with... but still, I got no enjoyment out of it other than the gratification of being asked to dance. This just compounds my suspicions of my being a lesbian as of late... since I'm not finding myself attracted to guys much at all anymore. But then I also wonder if it's because I have to actually be attracted to a person in the first place, regardless of gender, to like that kind of thing? Although, I've always found myself to enjoy physical contact with girls even if I'm not attracted to them really... so I dunno. It may just be that I just ended a relationship with a girl, so I'm just used to same-sex physical contact because of that. I'm just really confused, not that it's stressing me out any, but it's got my curiosity going. Any thoughts, anyone?
How about u just call yourself sexual? Eliminate the restricting label. Until you grow, learn and gain the experience you need to make such a decision and just follow your heart (ahah corny much), i mean it in the sense that you should love the person you're attracted to at the time, regardless of gender or orientation. If later in life you see a pattern that shows u tend to lean more towards a specific type or gender maybe then you can declare yourself this or that. I know i call myself gay, but thats still how i see life. I only say gay because i am yet to have a physical or emotional attraction to a female, and i believe i have had enough for males to consider myself generally attracted to males. I never block out the idea of being with a girl though!
It could be that you're having a lesbian period. Or maybe you were totally lesbian all along. These things can change sometimes. Or it may just be that that night you weren't in the mood? I guess you just have to do a little more research into the matter, give it some time, and eventually you'll see if it's lasting lack of attraction.
See, here's the thing, I'm bisexual, and if a guy was groping me in the manner that you described, I would probably slap him in the face and walk out. I say this for a few reasons, one, noone violates my body in that manner without asking me first; two, I have to be attracted to someone to want them to grope me. These are the possibilities, one, you're a lesbian. Two, you're bisexual but just don't like random guys groping you.
It could be that you considered yourself bisexual, because that sounded a little more palitable (sp?) to start. You've had a relationship with a girl now, and in hindsight perhaps you were never really attracted to guys at all. I sort of feel the same way. I considered myself to be straight for most of my life. I got married, had kids, etc. Then I got 'curious' - I still laugh at the expression, but whatever - and when I started to 'experiment' with guys, I considered myself to be bi. However, when I was able to be really honest with myself, I had no interest in another relationship with a woman. Now that I have a bf that I LOVE SO MUCH I see what I was missing out on when I was married. I consider myself to be gay now - no question. Acknowledging yourself as a lesbian was probably tough to do back then, but maybe you're ready now. That - or the groping thing just turned you off...
I realised that I was gay at around 14 years old. For me it was pretty cut and dry I found guys sexually attractive and while I enjoyed the company of women greatly (and still do) the spark of lust or whatever just wasnt there. It seems to me that you just need to take a chance to breathe, you just got out of a relationship and are unsure of yr orientation. What I would do in yr position is take some time to yrself. You don't need to classify yrself as anything at the moment. sexuality is a very uncomfortable issue for many people and pushing yrself into figuring out exaclty who you are and declaring that to the outside world is a big step. Relax take it slowly. and by the way i think most people would have been turned off by that one asshole you should have kicked him in the crotch ;0) hope that helped RFB x
