Hey. So, I've been struggling with being a homosexual. My parents think that it is a disorder and that it is unnatural, and my friends think that it's messed up. I seriously don't ever think that I can come out, unless I want to destroy the relationships that I have with my parents and friends. I really respect my parents and want to please them, and they would hate me if they knew I was gay. If they found out, our relationship would completely end, and I really don't want that to happen. Also, I don't personally know anyone who supports homosexuality. Anyways, coming out would just about ruin my life. I will probably have to get married to a woman and have kids, because of my parents. I have no idea what to do with my life.
Don't quite make that jump yet. You can go get an education, a job, become self sufficient (Which I believe everyone should be before marriage anyways..) and then move and do whatever you want without caring about them. Unfortunately it might not be a wise idea to come out when your dependent; sometimes the LGBT community needs to emphases that it isn't always about being out, but being true to your intentions. So if you want to be out and about; get the economic background to be able to do it without worry about dependance on your parents. Kids and a wife don't sound like they would be a good solution; if anything you'd be hiding your true intentions and down the road they'll catch up with you. It'll take some work but once your not dependent anymore you'll be the one with bargaining rights; they'll have to deal with you not being around, not welcoming them and providing assistance (They're going to get older at some point). It might take time but most people will come around eventually, there's still hope yet.
I sugesst you spend some time reading the LGBT Later in Life section. Marrying and staying in the closet for life doesn't really work. Do whatever it takes, but get yourself to a college in a larger town. Once you do you'll see a whole new world of possibilities open up to you. Living an authentic life may not be an option right now, but someday it will be. Don't give up hope.
Hang in there, become financially independent from your family and move on with your life when you're old enough. Don't go marrying a woman to please your parents. It's the worse decision ever, and you'll both end up miserable. Simply put, don't take a life decision based on what your parents want you to do, it's not their life, it's yours and only yours. Do what will make you happy in the long run. Unfortunately for you, that will require some additional hardship early on, but it will pay off once you'll able to be "out".
Instead of considering the two extremes (come out to everyone right now versus stay in the closet forever and marry a woman), I think your solution is somewhere in the middle. It's probably not a good idea to come out now if you're in a homophobic environment where you are likely to be rejected by friends and family. But lying to yourself and to everyone forever is not a good option either. You're still young, you have plenty of time to wait until you're in a stronger, more independent part of your life. Maybe if you go away to college, or just if you move out and make new friends. Once you can be around some people who will be supportive of being gay you will start to feel comfortable in coming out. And if your parents love you, they will eventually come to terms with it. But don't come out right now!
I really don't want my relationship with my parents to end, and if I came out to them, they would never talk to me again. I really don't want that to happen. Is there any way that I could be in a long term relationship and my parents not find out about it?
You have to do what's best for yourself. Why would you want to stick around with folks who didn't love you for who you are?
That would almost require that you have no relationship with your parents, and that you keep up a lie for years to come. If you want to be in a relationship with a person of the same sex, your parents will have to come to accept it if they love you.
