Hi everyone, I just joined this forum. General background info about me, I recently turned 18, I'm a guy, started uni earlier this year, I live in Australia and my parents are from Sri Lanka. I've lived in Australia my whole life. I've never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl on the lips. I've had friends that are girls, but I've never been in a romantic relationship with a girl. But when I imagine my future and where I see myself, I always imagine myself with a wife and children. That said, I don't think I'm attracted to girls in the same way other guys my age are. I've never 'drooled over' a girl or been immobilised by a girl's beauty before. Then again, I've never really had any close friendships where I can talk about relationships, sexuality, who's hot/who's not, etc so I'm not sure if that comes into play here. Since I was around 14 though I've always admired the male body and I often find myself more drawn towards male beauty than female beauty. However, the thought of having sex with another man turns me off. Again though, I've never been in a relationship with a guy, or made out with a guy or anything like that. So I don't really know where I stand. There are times when I feel that I'm gay, or at the very least bi, and there are other times that I feel that I'm definitely straight, but just haven't had the chance to realise it since I've never been in a relationship before. So I don't know what to do. Should I talk to someone just to try and work out how I feel? I'm not sure where my parents stand on homosexuality; I've never had a conversation with them about sex or homosexuality or anything (they never had the sex talk with me and they always seem to awkwardly dance around the topic of sex if it's mentioned on tv, for example) but they do always tease me saying that I'm hanging out with my girlfriend (which obviously isn't true) and from the conversations one of my brothers and my cousins have had, I doubt and of them would be that supportive of me if I were to talk to any of them about how I feel, just to work out how I feel. But yeah I really don't know what to do and I'd appreciate any advice in general. I was thinking maybe I should talk to one of my close friends and tell them that I'm attracted to guys and girls, but does anyone have any advice? Cheers. PS Sorry if this is in the wrong section.
A lot of people have trouble when they are coming of age determining which feelings they are having because of their true orientation, and which they are having because of social pressures and convention. When I was in the closet, the thought of doing anal, especially bottoming was disgusting and insane to me. I knew that I wanted to such dick.. couldn't deny it, but I had a lot of straight male friends and their attitude and fears regarding the idea of anal really rubbed off on me. It wasn't until years after I was out that I really felt comfortable exploring and experiencing anal, both as a top and bottom, and now I really enjoy both. I also had convinced myself that maybe I was bi, because I wanted so badly to just have a girlfriend and be normal. That was also just plain not true, I realize now I really have no attraction to girls at all, sexually or romantically, and my desire to have those kinds of relationships with girls were more about how I wanted others to view me than about what I really wanted. Of course it may not be the same for you. You could be bi, leaning one way or the other, or you could be gay, or even mostly straight with a little bicuriosity. The only way you can figure it out is to five yourself permission to be okay and accepting of yourself whatever it is you discover your preferences to be. As long as you are trying to match some ideal of what you wanted or your parents or society wants your life to be, you won't be able to discover yourself truly. And trust me, the joy of living in accordance with your true self will overshadow any of the loss you might feel at having to give up on being what others wanted. Know that whatever the truth about your sexuality is, it's beautiful and perfect and it is the only thing that has the potential to bring you happiness. Accept and embrace your questions! Explore things! You are at university, go make out with guys and girls and try things out, see what you like, and experience life! you deserve it.
I can see what you mean. For me though, unlike you, I don't want to suck dick or anything like that. I just feel physically attracted to men a lot of the time (like I'm quicker to notice a guy having a nice face or a good body than I would a female). Thankyou so much for this advice, it means a lot to me. I just have a question, it may seem like a stupid question but nonetheless, I'm not exactly sure how to experiment with both genders. I can't stay out at clubs and bars until late because I live in a relatively unsafe part of town and the only way for me to get home from the city is take a train, and I can't drive on my own yet (can only drive with a full licensed (so a parent) person in the passenger seat until I get more experience) and I'm not sure how to go about experimenting and that sort of thing. Sorry if this is the wrong place to post this.
