Hmm, Mom + Church

Hard one! I would say... if you can go and support your mum, she my not fully accept your homosexuality yet but I am sure she is trying and if she sees you making an effort for her maybe she will be more inclined to make an effort for you.

I say 'if you can' having said that if this support requires you to be hypocritical and go against what you believe then it might be best to tell your mum that you don't feel that you can be there physically to support her but that you admire her for standing up for what she things is right but that you also have to stand up for what you think is right as well.

That you go and support your mum does not mean that you agree with what she says, just that you are lending her moral support at a time when she needs it. You might need her moral support one day. The implication that you agree with her is obvious but you can make it clear to your mother your stand on this subject and as for what other people think... WHO CARES! You don't know these people, they don't know you. If they judge you without knowing you then they are not really worth bothering with.

I probalby haven't helped you much but that is what I think on the subject. Good luck with working this one out (*hug*)

 

I can appreciate the situation as it would be very uncomfotable, hell I don't like going to church full stop due to my atheism but you should go to support yr mother. Put aside yr feelings for the ignorant assholes that make up the congregation, drown them out. They will never change you and you will never change them.
Try to look at the situation almost clinically. Think of the church as just another building and try not to write off everyone who attends however, as people can surprise you

Good luck let me know how it works out
RFB

 

She's your mum, and sometimes supporting your friends and family means doing things that you don't necessarily find comfortable.

Yes the church may be opposed to gays, but you're not there to support the church, you're there to support your mum who has decided she wants to more actively pursue religion.

 

I agree. What I would add is that obviously your mom thinks enough of you that she wants you to be there for her, despite what some of her fellow members might think of your orientation. Being a good son - supportive and respectful - can only improve their perception of gays. Think of it that way.

 

I agree with the above. It'd be wonderful for your Mom to look out and see you there in the congregation.

 

Please, it's called giving honest critisim; something most people run from. don't feel bad. It's better to be truthful than to lie to someone...even if it "offends" them.

that's amazing! Good for her, hope it works out.

*scoffs* really? that dosn't seem to be the case :dry:
initialy u do but its obvious :dry: ur scared of your mother.

To be honest, i am a religous person. however, to run from distasteful comments upon myself i don't mix "God" with "Sexuality" cuz that conversation never turns out good and u all know how persistent i am. (i'm a law student. comes naturaly)
My opinion, don't do it. stand ur ground and respectfuly tell your mother u cannot support it and why. Its a bit obvious that ur mom is trying to change ur sexuality but its up to you sweety. Just be sure that your doing this for the right reasons, from the goodness of your heart. you will be speaking in a church, with atleast 10% of the congrigation taking you seriously...those people deserve honesty...

Alex.(*hug*)

 

It sounds like the testimonial is what some churches call "testifying" which is a profession of faith and a story about the person's religious conversion.

I would say that you should go. Family always comes first and if your mother is sincere in inviting you, then you should attend. The same is true of weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs, baptisms.

On the larger issue, the world is full of people who hate gays and think that gays are sinful. You can't avoid them. They believe you have something to be ashamed of. By showing up at this event, you're showing them that they are wrong and that you have no reason to be ashamed of.

 

Really really good point. The same thing happens to me. My aunt works for a church and people are always like why are you going there you hate religion and I say Im going to support family not religion. So even though it might not be the most comfortable you should probably go like others said.

 

If someone -even your mother - starts getting passive-aggressive on you, the best bet is to NOT respond in kind. When you see/hear the anti-gay tapes running, just stick your head in the room and say "Could you save those ones for when I'm NOT around? Thanks."

Lex

 

That's why God invented iPods and Walkmans.

Lex

 

Next time the tape goes on, put on the headphones, and leave them on until the tape ends.

Lex

 

Here's my advice. Tell your mother that you'd like to go to another church, there are churches out there that are not homophobic. This is good for both of you, in your mother's eyes, she's seeing you wanting to be religious, and you don't have to put up with the homophobic slander.

If she doesn't want to go to another church, then bring your i-Pod or whatever you want to bring.

 

dude I totally know what you mean... were you a big part of your youth before? I was, and still am to an extent, I dont think my pastor likes it, but most of my friends are part of the youthgroup lol. Ya... its a really christian town... LOL. but... I hear ya man, my mom is the same. anyways, keep posting.

 

And scissors.

Just kidding!