So using this website and various youtube videos, I've deduced that I'm probably asexual.... I live in a strong Catholic household (in which we avoid topics such as sexuality because we all hold different opinions but respect each other enough) so maintaining my virginity was kind of an understood thing from the start. I'm romantically straight so I really don't see the need to tell my family. I mean it would really just be an awkward conversation that my parents probably wont end up understanding. At the same time I see videos of people telling the right way to come out and all that. Is it really necessary if I wouldn't tell my parents about my sex life(which doesn't exist) anyway? Thank you!
Like with any coming out, I think it mainly depends on how much it bothers you that you're not open about it. Or, to phrase it differently: I didn't come out because I had a boyfriend to present. I didn't even come out because I wanted to start dating guys. I didn't come out because I wanted to start attending GLBT events. For about two years after coming out, exactly nothing changed in my life compared to when I was still pretending to be straight. Yet, there was a reason I came out, and it was quite simply that the small lies I made were becoming more and more obvious and grating. If my mom made this little off-hand remark about "when you''l have a wife and kids", and I nodded without comment, it felt like lying. When my brother asked about how many girlfriends I ever had, it grated to say "zero". Not because it was a direct lie, but because I knew that by doing so, I was going along with a wrong idea on his part. So... in the end coming-out was the right thing to do for me. It didn't directly change anything for the outside observer, but for me it was a load off my chest not to have to be diplomatic about even minor questions and remarks. So I guess my question to you is: are there moments where you feel you're lying to people or going along with them because you don't want to rock the boat? If there are such moments, do they bother you? If so, coming out might be the best option to improve!
Pretty much the only person you're obligated to come out to is your partner. If you're a romantic asexual, you'll probably need a partner who can handle your lack of interest in sex. As for your parents, well, it's up to you. They don't need to know, but you might need to tell them, for your own reasons. If you feel like it's important to you that they know, tell them. Otherwise, don't feel bad about not telling them.
Personally, I don't think it is necessary for me to come out. I'm out to people who are supportive for me and some who probably cringe. That said, I'm good with who I am and what I am and who I'm attracted to. I don't feel the need to make a big announcement. If others guess my orientation - that's fine. At 48 I don't think my parents need to know how I conduct my life and see no harm in lying . I'm sure they are curious about my life since I was married to a man for 25 years and now live alone. But for the first time in my life I am so happy. I do miss the family life a little bit.
I've slipped under the radar of any form of harassment with asexuality... I agree, sexuality is only really important to your boyfriend/partner/whatever, otherwise nobody should need to know. But, talking about sex is inevitable with some humans... and it also depends if you want to have kids biologically or not.
I agree with the above posters. It really just depends on whether you want to come out or find it necessary. Another aspect to consider is your current relationship with your parents. As an example, I have never really talked about crushes/people who I found attractive with my parents, so until I'm in a serious relationship I'm not going to mention my sexuality to them (and only if it's with a woman). Simply because it's not something I talk about with them anyway, so I don't see the need. It sounds like you're more in this category. However, some of my friends have very close relationships with their parents, including who they're crushing on and the like. For them, it would be much more difficult to avoid talking about sexuality, particularly since they seek their parents advice so often. It would likely be better for people in this situation to come out, if they emotionally feel like that is the right choice. Ultimately, you should just come out if you want to, not because it's required of you or because you feel obligated. Don't feel like you should come out because it's the right thing to do, because for many people it is not.
