My husband has knows for years that I have a thing for women and he has known for a little over a month that I feel like I am probably bi. Last night we talked and I told him that I realize I am a lesbian. He took it well. We decided to stay together. I told him that as of now, I am still trying to figure myself out and I don't want to go looking for a girlfriend. He worries about when that time comes because he doesn't want me to fall in love with someone else. His main concern was how this would effect our sex life. I told him that it's fairly obvious that my favorite parts of sex are the parts a woman could do, but that I am willing to continue having sex with him as long as he realized that it probably won't be as often as it was before. He agreed that it was fair. Both of us know that at any time I could meet the woman of my dreams. Until then, we're together. I feel like I am cheating. I am a stay at home Mom. My son has high functioning Autism and sensory processing disorder. He is also super smart. 4 years old and he reads, writes, does addition and subtraction. It is best for him for me to be home. Not my first choice, but it certainly has it's perks. I am worried because I don't know how long this can last. I am the only woman my husband has been with. To allow him to condemn himself to a relationship with a woman who doesn't fully want him that way...it feels wrong. Don't get me wrong, I am emotionally attracted to him. If I was straight, all of this would be perfect. But, I'm not. Has anyone else been through this? How long do you think we can keep this up?
Hello Flower, First, a huge congratulations to you for coming out to you husband. That took courage, and I'm proud of you. I'm afraid I don't have any advice for you on this, though. I still haven't told my husband, and when I do (which will probably be today or tomorrow), I don't expect him to take it well. And I'm planning on a divorce-not only because of my sexuality, but also because things have been rocky for a little while, and we may have been headed that way, my sexuality not withstanding. And I don't have children, so I'm of no help there. It may be that the longer you've both had to sit with the information and the more chances you two have to talk, you may find that the solution comes to you. It's still very early, and I'm sure he's still processing the news--and you're still processing how it will affect your family. You both may need a little time to reflect. Sorry I can't be more helpful, but I'm thinking of you. --Zoe
Firstly, congratulations for coming out, despite knowing how tough it is to do so. You are in a good position having such a supportive husband. What you are doing right now is what is best for both of you, and your son. In your situation, I would stay with your husband until the right woman comes along. When you feel that time has come, then you should make arrangements with your husband regarding your son depending on who he stays with. I'm not sure what else I would do, or what choices I would have.
Thank you for the responses. I appreciate your kind words. I know at some point we will divorce, but I hope that my full disclosure to him will help us keep a good relationship. Good luck Zoe! I'll send prayers your way. Thank you Rexmond.
