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I'm So Confused!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by PurpleRain, May 30, 2013.

  1. PurpleRain

    Full Member

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    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm so confused! Life is really starting to get to me really bad and I just feel like I'm completely stuck. :frowning2: I don't want to complain, but I really need some guidance on what I should do...

    My girlfriend left me over two months ago and almost immediately started seeing someone else. She left when I came out to her. I can't say that it was because I came out that she left because we had a lot of problems, but I'm sure it didn't help any... Anyway, after coming out and hearing that she was seeing someone else... I kinda lost it and, though I'm very ashamed to admit it, flew back into the closet in a failed attempt to get her back. Since then I've been really torn up and lonely and just trying to get by and deal with who I am, but it's been even more difficult because she's been calling me. She says she wants to be my friend and acts like she wants to get back together, but never does anything. I've very clearly expressed that I want to be together with her again, but now I don't know anymore because I know that she doesn't love me for who I am... It's really painful because I love her with all my heart and I don't know what to do.

    The problem is that now I'm back in the closet with her... And I'm going to college in a few months. If I want the accommodations for transgender people I have to come out within the next few weeks so I can fill out the housing form correctly. In my heart I really want her back, but I need her to love the person that I am and I hate to flip flop because it makes me seem unsure even though I'm not. I really just have no idea what to do. It makes life really difficult...

    I know I'm being whiney, but I'm just so confused and I don't know what to do anymore... :tears:
     
  2. flight

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    You deserve a person who loves you for who you are, not for who they want you to be. There is someone who will love you for who you are and will put as much into the relationship as you do. If she really wants to get back together with you, tell her she either accepts you for who you are, or your done.

    I know it's hard to leave someone that you love, but in this case it's her loss. A person who hurts you like that, is someone you don't deserve and respecting yourself and values is more important. Who knows, college is full of great people and maybe someone is just waiting for you. :icon_bigg

    Good karma comes to good people.

    Good luck!
     
  3. Knight Pan

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Decatur, Illinois
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
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    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Like Flight said, you deserve someone that loves you for you. She needs to accept you for who you are and if she can't do that then she needs to let you find someone that can. You deserve better and to be happy. It'll be hard leaving her. Trust me I know. I'm actually going to come out to the guy I love and if he doesn't accept me then you can guess what I'll do.

    If you're not accepted then just remember the fact that you deserve better. Anyway, when you go to college you'll find someone better. Someone that'll accept you for who you are. And if in a few years she accepts it and you feel it's right then you can get back together with her if YOU want to. Just do what you believe is right in your heart and everything will be fine. :slight_smile:
     
  4. PurpleRain

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    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thanks guys it really helps... I know that I need to let it go it's just really hard because I really thought she meant it when she said she'd love me no matter what... I really had hoped that I found someone to spend my life with... I don't even know if I can forgive her for doing what she did anymore so I don't know why I'm still so hung up on this... My big problem right now is coming out I guess.. It's really a scary thought. :confused:
     
  5. Candace

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    Before you love someone, you have to love yourself first. Your girlfriend should make you love yourself, not just them :slight_smile:
     
  6. yellowsun

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    You deserve to be with someone who loves you for who you are. I am sure that one day you will find that special someone who will love you and support you for exactly who you are.