Should I tell my doctor?

Hi Wyfish--

Yes, absolutely tell your doctor. Your doctor is only interested in keeping you healthy, and when you don't give essential information to him, he can't help you to the fullest extent.

I'm a big believer in helping your health care providers by being open and honest with them.

--Zoe

 

It's nobodies business but yours, I wouldn't tell my Doctor, I don't see how it would make any difference, Homosexuality isn't a medical condition

 

I'd agree with Dublin Boy.

However in this case, a refusal to answer a question on sexuality will lead the doctor to question and "logically" assume that the answer is not "Heterosexual". At this stage, you could've just told your doctor, it's not the end of the world and they're technically required to keep those information secret between the doctor and you unless there's a concern for your safety (which is not the case here).

 

Whatever you feel comfortable with. It isn't the doctors business. I doubt there is anything relating to sexual health (which is the only legitimate reason for asking the question) which you couldn't find online if you were so inclined.

But yes, by not answering, she knows you aren't straight.

 

I agree that it isn't the doctor's business, per sa, but here's some information that might help explain why I said what I did. It's important to be honest with your doctor, no matter what you're age because LGBTI people are at an increased risk for:

--Depression and Anxiety
--Suicide
--Alcohol and Tobacco Use
--Substance Abuse
--Cancer (Gay and Bi men are at a higher risk for anal cancers, lesbians for breast cancer)
--HIV/STIs
--Hepatitis (Men)
--Complications from hormone therapy

This information came from Vanderbilt Medical Center.

You may say, well, I'm young--I don't have cancer. But without being honest with your doctor, he won't know what sorts of things to keep an eye on or educate you about. Not being honest can affect both access to care and the quality of care received. As a result in preventable, adverse health outcomes.

Trust me--doctors don't care if you're gay. And if you have a doctor who does, find a new doctor. You want to be able to trust your doctor implicitly.

I don't mean to scare anyone, only to emphasize the importance of trusting your health care provider.

-Zoe

 

Apart from complications with hormone therapy, these are all conditions that affect Straight people as well, we probably all know a straight Person that has been affected by one or more of these things

 

I appreciate this, but it doesn't work for me. Even with a perfectly accepting doctor, the moment one learns that I'm trans or queer, I take every step to avoid going unless I absolutely have to. It just isn't worth the effort.

 

Good point, Dublin Boy, and but the key word here is Increased--they're at an increased risk.

And Hexagon, I'm sorry you're struggling so much with being honest with yourself and others, but it's certainly a position many of us have been in.

When people ask me why now and why I repressed my true feelings, it's hard to come up with an answer besides, "I was scared." Of what, it's a little hard to pin down, now. Rejection, I suppose. It's so tough to be rejected.

But I know lots of people here will be able to help and support you as you go along this path, so keep coming back.

--Zoe

 

Doctors are supposed to keep patient confidentiality, and will only blow any whistles if the information was going to put the patient or any other person at risk (for example, if being in the closet was leading a person to self harm). At the end of the day, though, it's your choice as to whether you share such information.

 

Why are lesbians at higher risk of breast cancer that's really random , I wouldn't tell them unless they asker because my doctor Already think I have a high risk of suicide because my mum committed suicide so I go to the doctors for anti biotics and they try and ask me about my mental health so telling them I'm gay would only make it worse ; however it's up
To you what you choose to tell them

 

I've never told my doctors, even when explicitly asked. However, I think that's going to change. I never thought it relevant, since I'm not sexually active therefore any STI issues are moot, and I'm fairly certain that's why they're asking.

However, as I start to come out to more and more people, I view complete honesty in the doctor/patient relationship as key. The interesting thing is that they're going to start offering primary care onsite at work, and I think that I very well may go there for primary care. Since I'd be switching providers, there's no "coming out" to do - just mention it casually as a new patient when they ask, and that's done (and I'm "somewhat" out at work anyhow - i.e. I belong to the LGBT network, but these people don't work for my company, they are completely separate healthcare providers that are bound to the same confidentiality that any other healthcare provider is - the location is just ultra-convenient!)

 

I guess I don't understand why you would want to hide information from the person that is there for one reason.... To make sure your healthy.

And as Zoe said, we are at increased risk. There is no denying that.

 

She's there to make sure you're healthy. She deals with so many people, therefore you telling her that you're bisexual is nothing new to her.

 

I think that, at your age, it's about keeping you safe from the things out there, such as STIs, which can hurt you. The doctor sounds somewhere between nosy and concerned. It would depend on how she broached the subject and what you were talking about when the question came up. Make sure you listen up well when taking those health courses in school to protect yourself from infections and other issues. You can learn just as much from them, in greater detail, than a doctor can give you during a visit.

If I was having my first appointment with a new doctor, over age 30 or so, I would NOT be pleased. It happened once and his approach was wrong. It was a new doctor visit. He probably zeroed in that I was single, and went on to ask about my sex life. I only went twice a year, and probably only saw him 4 times.

 

Why does it matter in this context? The doctor simply wants an overview of who you are, and as you note, any risk factors that you might have. Whether we want to admit it or not, being a sexually active gay/bi person exposes us to a greater degree of risk than the heterosexual population.

Therefore, I think that it's important that the doctor know.

 

One of the things that's tough about posting is that we can't share the subtleties of a situation. In this particular situation, the MD's intonation was definitely nosy and invasive, more so than helpful or concerned. I was in my early 30s when this happened, so I was not a kid. I have never had any other medical practitioner ask me this thereafter when getting a new doctor. They have the intake questionnaire which is pretty detailed and asks for previous STIs, weight fluctuations, odd fevers, night sweats, swollen lymph nodes, and stuff that can clue them in on level of sexual exposure. Most adults who are well-read know what the higher risk activities are. Most of the time.

Some doctors can be insensitive and unpleasant. One of my childhood friends went to his doctor for a check up and the doctor profiled him. My friend told him that he had had sex with men. The doctor, who was presumably heterosexual and obviously arrogant, said "then you probably have it," and my friend was very angered by this visit. My friend's STI status was clean and still is.

For the OP, I recommend that he familiarize himself through health education and also ask that his provider give him any literature or pamphlets to read about STIs and risks to protect his health and well-being.

 

While I can see why she would ask a question like that, it still seems very inappropriate. I'm sure you could find numerous reasons to defend asking any conceivable question, but that doesn't mean it should be done. And it's also important to keep in mind that OP is just entering high school. The question is unnecessary and invasive.

 

In the UK, if you have a STD, you don't have to go to your Doctor, you can go to a STD Clinic, it is not Gay People that are considered the highest at risk of Suicide, it is Men in general, especially young Men, so orientation doesn't come into it, the only women I have heard of having breast Cancer has always been older Straight Women, think Angelina Jolie story, I have not come across a Lesbian with it yet, that doesn't mean the won't get it, but Lesbians at high risk does sound random.

Doctors in the UK don't follow our progress, you have a medical problem, you visit your doctor, he either writes you a prescription or refers you to the Hospital, being Gay, is none of his business & I can see no reason to tell him, unless, that thing that happens to 2 dogs ever happened to me & then I would probably just call the Paramedics