Hi guys. I'm a teenager in rural Virginia (a town of under 50,000) that is not gay-friendly to say the least. For years I've known but tried denying my sexuality, but there's no denying it anymore. I'm gay. I'm gay and I know it. However, my family is very anti-gay from certain slurs to gay people we know, to just hearing how they talk. This town is horrible. I'll be off to college soon and hopefully that will be gay-friendly but I don't know. What do I do? I feel like I'm under a thousand pound boulder and can't breathe. Help me!
Welcome to EC. Ok, have you tried talkignt o your parents about gays? Im guessing they were alive int he 80's! Ask them about Elton John. Why they dont like gays? Take this advice with a grain of salt
Well they have a gay friend and while they think he's nice they continue to call him homophobic slurs behind his back.
Okay, as Ticky suggested do yr best to figure out exaclty how homophobic yr parents are. What college are you going to? Is it also in Virginia? If yr parents are supporting you through education I wouldnt suggest coming out if they're homophobic, it's just best to get through college incase they pull yr funding (worst case scenario). Hopefully they will be accepting of the LGBT communtiy, if they aren't however, I'd just keep quiet for the time being, despite how frustrating this is. When you move away join the LGBT society attached to yr college, no doubt there will be one and you will be able to befriend some people who know what yr going through. This is a tough situation for most people and is made even more difficult by yr location and the possible homophobia of yr parents. Do any of yr friends know that yr gay? what do they think? RFB hope this is helping
I thought this thread was titled 'Coming out of a rural vagina' so I was a bit curious as to what this thread was about Where are you going to college/uni ? Hopefully it'll be far away and you can have more space for yourself that way you'll feel less pressured and then you can really accept yourself!
None of my friends know. College can't come soon enough. I'm definitely getting out of Virginia. Possibly DC, Maryland, or further north. My whole family "teases" and "makes fun of" gays, not just my parents. I'd be the laughing stock of my family.
I think that a college far afield is a good idea. Don't come out to yr parents just yet. Wait till college is over and you have established a good support network for yrself, then you'll have friends who can sympathise and fall back on. Do yr best to find out if yr friends are homophobic, if not, stay quiet. They don't need to know/cause problems unnecessarily. Hopefully they will be more receptive to queer lifestyles, in which case maybe you could come-out to them. Only do this however, if yr confident that they can be trusted and only when you feel ready. Don't rush anything. RFB