I`m sorry, I hope this is not horridly long. I will try to short hand it... I was never raised in a strict household .My dad had walked out on my and my mom when I was born .So My mother has literally been my best friend since I was nine..(she suffered through postpartum depression, that's why its only nine) and I really didn't have many friends at all...We did everything together I love her with all my heart it would kill me if I lost her ever. Her opinion is what matters to me most. I was fifteen when I fell head over heals for my now "girlfriend."I was never the type to discriminate love..It didn't matter to me whether or not the person I loved was a girl or a boy. So when I met her (we are going to call her..."Lovely"...for privacy ,and lack of imagination)it was like something clicked it was immediate..I never used the word love much but even at fifteen I loved her. I think I was sixteen at the time we had developed a mutual relationship, but of course secret..and like every awkward situation, I was in the middle of kissing her when my mother walked through the door, I almost broke my neck trying to get away from 'lovely" as fast as possible. It was too late though she had seen and, we got into it. I cant remember how much Tupperware was thrown at me but I do remember how many curse words she used. I was terrified I had never seen her that angry...At anyone..It upset me that my best friend was reacting like this, It broke my heart. She drove my "lovely" home and forced her to tell her parents... :bang: To say that this dampened me and my mothers relationship is an understatement. A week later( after she let me come out of my room) she sat down and talked to me..She told me she would never be able to accept me. I asked her if she still loved me, All she could say is "I don't know." to this day her voice echoes in my head those words kill me..So I did what I knew would let me keep my mother, I told her I was curious and I wouldn't do it again. She seemed satisfied with that, and she went back to speaking about grandchildren and how happy I will be when I get married, we never spoke about "Lovely" again... until now , here I sit twenty one years old ...Bashing my head against the wall wondering how the heck Im going to be able to tell her that ...I'm not curious, I lied to you I'm bisexual, and I have been dating "Lovely" behind your back for five years now. Of course now is more difficult because I'm actually moving in with "Lovely." I want to truly come out this time because my mother has been a big part of my life and I want her to be there and continue to be ,but I cant help who I love...I'm afraid shes going to make me chose...and I'm sorry but if that's the case then life will sure be miserable without her. And for anyone who understood this rant do they have any advice for me on how to break this to her gently ,and still save my and my mom`s relationship? And anyone who stopped reading half way through I don't blame you I tried to make this as short as possible.
Hi there Annnabellie, Sorry to hear about the difficult situation that you're in. Perhaps after all these years your mum may have come to terms with the fact that you may be bisexual, unless she has continued to deny it. Also, society is becoming more and more accepting over the years, so it is possible that she has read more about gay stories/gay rights in the newspaper etc, and it may have changed her mind somewhat. You could try and find out where she stands on gay issues now by bringing up something in the news, such as gay marriage/gays in the military etc. and seeing how she reacts. Perhaps talk about a well-known gay celebrity, without mentioning the fact that they are gay, and see whether or not she herself brings it up as an issue as to why she may not like this celebrity. Hope that this is of some help. Good luck!
I don't know what your and Lovely's plans are, but if yall are considering adopting one day...or finding sperm donors or something. It may help your mom if she realizes that the only difference is that Lovely is female. I read a book and someone had said that their theory on parents taking coming out difficult is that they see it as a future changed not only for their child, but for them as well. Just a thought. Good luck.
