Soooo the other day I almost came out to my mom...my emotions almost got the best of me. We were in the car and Macklemore's "Same Love" came on the radio. If you havent heard it it's a song supporting gay marriage and equality, inspired by his gay uncles (you should watch the music video, very touching btw) Neither of us heard the song before, and after the first couple of lines my mom turned it up so she could hear more. Then the chorus came and I almost lost it. I wanted so bad to just let it out but I was so afraid of what my mom would think. She said she really liked the song. We're VERY close and we've listend to lgbt issues together on the radio and tv and she's always said supportive things. Now I feel like I missed an opportunity to come out because I have no idea how to come out...I'm so worried about her reaction...but at the same time I'm wondering if she suspects. I've cut my hair, been buying guy clothes (dressing on the androgynous side), and I havent mentioned dating guys in a while. I've read a lot your stories on coming out - can anyone give me some advice?? How can I bring it up without freaking out and changing the subject?? :eusa_doh:
Well there are two ways you could go about it. I think the way a lot of people do it is by doing a bit of a run up. Bring up something that's been in the news about LGBT issues and see if you can work your way around to yourself. Listening to your mother say something positive about the LGBT community might give you the little boost you need to just come out and say it. And by easing her into it she might find it easier to hear. Alternatively, you could always just try blurting it out. Sit her down and say, 'I've got something to tell you; I'm gay.' Then you can cover all the other bases after. It may be a bit more shocking for her doing it that way but you may find it easier to actually verbalise it if you don't give yourself time to think twice about it. I've come out to all my friends using the blurting it out method and all reactions have been extremely positive. If she's shown support towards the LGBT community in the past then it's unlikely she'll have too much of a bad reaction towards it but I understand how difficult it is to work up the courage to tell people. Hope I've helped. Good luck.
First of all, thank you for your post. I had never heard that song before. It is beautiful. Second, come up with a plan. Decide how you want to do it and what will be best for you. I am only out to 2 people. One I talked to in person, the other I text. When I come out to my Mom, I'll make sure my older sister knows first and then send my Mom a cake. It's kind of the chicken way out, but I know my Mom will have issues with it.
Hi Ty- From your description, it sounds like your mom already knows or suspects something. In fact, she may have turned up the song in order to give you an opening to tell her. It sounds like she's very supportive of LGBT issues, which is a great thing. No matter how you tell her, I'm willing to bet she'll be supportive and kind. As far as how to tell her, I myself am all for the blurting out method. Right before writing this, I came out to a friend over the phone, and I just blurted it out. So far, I've just blurted it out to everyone I've told (all 4 people!). Even when I emailed my brother to tell him, I blurted it out in writing. My email just said: "So, I'm a lesbian and [my husband] and I are getting divorced. What's new with you?" Seriously, that's what I wrote. Haven't heard back yet, though.... I realize that the blurting out method doesn't work for everyone--it's simply not in everyone's personality to blurt things out. What I like about it is that it doesn't give me the chance to think about it too much and decide to back out (like Nearly Out said). I also really like Hawaiian Flower's idea of the cake. Brilliant. Don't worry. Just do what feels right to you. There is no wrong way to come out (although I wouldn't recommend spelling it out in fire on the front lawn or anything--nothing that would cause a fire hazard ) Best of luck to you and write back and let us know how it goes. --Zoe
I agree with hawaiianflower, a plan is better, it makes you feel more in control and you can take it where you want. The hardest ones for me were family, so I made sure I said 'I have something to tell you' at the start of the conversation. Then, I knew I had to say it. I don't think you'll have a problem, your mum seems very LGBTQ friendly. Good luck!
That just means that point in time wasn't right. You simply weren't ready, don't beat yourself up about it. Definitely think of a plan before you jump into it. I'm going through the same right now. I have no idea how I can tell my parents.
Thank you all for your advice! Im definately gonna plan this out and probably start with "I need to talk to you about something..." and go from there. I'm hoping once I tell her it will get easier to tell other people and maybe I won't feel so overwhelmed. Thanks again!!!
Have a plan and evasive action firsthand. You only get one shot, and you can guarantee yourself then that everything will fall into place. Good luck
