Hey So I'm currently only out to one person and that's my flatmate at university. I'm close friends with another person but haven't seen her in months due to work and stuff. So, I've planned to meet up with her for lunch on Thursday before I go home for summer The plan is to come out during said meal. I don't really know what to say though. When I came out to the one person who knows, I was stuttering and mumbling and it's because I didn't really think it was going to happen, I just did it. So I'm thinking some way mid meal I'll just say: So, before I go home i was hoping i could share something very personal with you and want you to know i'm still the same person. *wait for "yeah sure"* I'm attracted to women. I guess I'm asking for advice on how to stay calm?. It shouldn't be too bad this time around because I know she's very accepting.
Say it right away with as little preamble as possible. Something like: There's something I'd like to share with you..(eye contact)...I'm gay. ("attracted to women", although more accurate, takes longer to say i.e. more syllables to stumble over). You can say "I'm attracted to women" after she says: "what? are you serious?" Good luck!
Hello I Know It- I think Great Whale's advice is right on the money (as I often do). I'm 42 and just now coming out. Right before coming to EC this afternoon, I was on the phone with a good friend I've known since college and came out to her. She talked for a little while and then asked me what was going on with me. I simply said, "Well, [Friend], I'm coming out--I'm gay." Whew! It was much easier than taking a lot of time to warm up to it or make more small talk before I worked up the courage. It was out and we could talk about it. I would definately recommend it, right down to using "gay." It is much easier to spit out than "attracted to women." Good luck. Let us know how it goes. --Zoe
In this case, I would recommend doing so, you'll be nervous no matter how or when you say it, so just do it. It's like getting into a pool.
So well said, Martjain. And just like once you jump in a cold pool and get comfortable, you don't want to get out again. -Zoe
