i am at a cross roads again already it seems. I am not too sure what todom, for those of you who have known me and talked to me you knopw that i had fallen for the girl of my dreams when i was like 14 and that i tried really hard to get her and be there for ther and just got played and used and abused. now ive found someone else, who i absolutely love, i mean my heart skips a beat when i see her and i giggle and the whole word just stops. problem? shes got a girlfriend, although i know that it is just a reboundish thing and that it is long distance and she moves through girls fast, it still bothers me more then a little. thats all fine and good, but i feel as though i am making a mistake or something, i mean i know that i want to be with a girl and that i love the way that they feel and how they are and everything, but i just feel like maybe girls will never see me they way i want them to and that maybe i should just be going back to guys because i know how to play that game and i can make it work for me, i realize that this makes me sound like a bitch, but its not like i would just use them or anything, i am capable of having feelings for guys and i just dont know what to do, maybe i should just quit everything. you know. i guess this isnt really advice filled but hoefully someone can give me some points, specially where my roommate is concerned, oh yeah...forgot to mention that i live with her? awkward...haha. im just so lost..
Awkward? You bet. Leave her be, at least as far as her girlfriend goes. Don't start planting seeds of doubt in her mind ("you're only with her because you're rebounding"), and don't start making a move on her yet. In fact, I'd be extremely wary of hooking up with her. If she really does "move through girls fast", it's more likely that you'll end up being just another one of those girls than it is that she'll suddenly change her ways. And if so, then you've got your ex- living in your place, and won't that be fun. It's not at all uncommon to fall for someone who doesn't fall for us back. Even if you enter a relationship, sometimes it's heavily one-sided. I don't think it has anything to do with gender. I certainly wouldn't decide "I won't deal with girls anymore", because 1. you can't help who you fall for, and 2. if you actually do like women, too, why cut yourself off? Just keep your mind open, and your eyes open, and your heart open. Lex
(*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) I thought thing were looking up for you recently. I don't think this is a problem of girls or boys, it is more a problem of who you are attacted to. You might want to look to yourself and see if you can find a reason why you are attracted to unsuitable people because even if this girl did like you, like you said she moves through girls like a hot knife through butter, you don't want to be just one of many. We don't necessarily chose who we are attracted to but if we can understand an underlying trait in the people we like you can try to avoid unsuitable people, People who won't give you back all the love that you give them. I don't know if the game is so different between boys and girls, you find good ones and bad ones in both genders, you have just been very unfortunate. Like Lex says keep your heart open and see what comes along... boy or girl.
First of all, as this girl has a girlfriend I would advise keeping away, as when there are more than 2 people things get complicated, and people can get hurt. That said, we can't help who we fall for and everything is up to you. But I would say don't think "In the future I'll go with guys" or "In the future I'll go with girls": try and say to yourself that you will only go with people who you like, not people who will go with you. You say you know how to play the game with men - well, if there is a guy you like, then go for it, but do not go for it simply because you think you will be able to get him. I have wondered if it would be best to just go for men, because hey, there are more heterosexual men than lesbians - but overall, I think it's best just to say to yourself that you should only attempt to get together with someone *if and only if* you actually like them (and I would also add, available). And it sounds like that for you this could be a man or a woman, but is currently a woman. But if you only go with people because you "know the game" and think you can get them, I'm pretty sure you won't be happy. But it'll all work out, and take care (*hug*)
