Haha, what a great first post. I have this friend. Though, I'm not quite sure if he is straight or gay. But he sure as hell makes me question him sometimes. We both have a caravan that we visit almost every holiday or long weekend, and otherwise I never see him, though we keep in contact. I'll start of with what he does to make him seem a little gay. + When we play spotlight, he once put his crotch (He was wearing pants) into my face. + We usually go to have a shower at the same time (Not in the same shower, same shower block.) he has reached into my cubicle and grabbed my underwear, and smelt the crotch area on them + He always says 'I love you.', though I'm not sure if its a joke. + We always 'act' gay together. Tough the last one is a the one that really made me think. + He and his friends were on a web cam, and were fighting on a bed, he was shirtless, then he kept showing his ass and pulling down his pants. Really odd. I honestly think no straight guy would do all this. Thanks.
Does he know you're Bi? I think you should maybe talk to him, discreetly of course. Ask him if he's joking or whether he thinks of you as more then a friend (you change the details). He might be teasing you or trying to get your attention.
You've given a list of behaviors suggesting your friend may be gay. But then again, you WANT him to be gay...or at least, are actively looking for signs that he might be gay. Therefore, you're not gonna list anything that suggests he's straight. Is he gay? Possibly. But I don't know. I mean, I've never met the guy, and I'm thousands of miles away. If YOU're not sure, I certainly can't be. One sure way to find out - ask him. Lex
Haha, thanks for the help. I somehow think asking him "Are you gay?" is going to get a straightforward answer. No one would really say "Yes, I'm gay" if you asked them. He has shown less signs of being straight then gay. I haven't heard ANY mention of a girlfriend, and I have only seen him look at a girl once.
Sorry for the double post, but I needed to update, and I couldn't edit. It turns out he does have a Girlfriend. Though, I know some people fake things. Or maybe he is bi too.
I have done this "is he or isn't he" too. Quite recently actually, about a guy in my previous job. I had the lists of reasons why I thought he was gay and why I thought he was straight, and naturally the gay list was longer. There were a couple of compelling ones on the straight list though, like having had a girlfriend for 3 years (that was before I met him, he was single then). I concluded in the end that he was probably straight, though maybe curious. It was all a waste of time and effort though, as there were numerous reasons why nothing would happen even if he was gay (Markie, working together, he's a good friend of the boss' son...). It's probably best to assume guys are straight until they tell you otherwise. It saves a lot of emotional stress and disappointment. Ohh, and Welcome to EC! What an interesting first thread!
>>>I somehow think asking him "Are you gay?" is going to get a straightforward answer. No one would really say "Yes, I'm gay" if you asked them. I would. But that's what happens when you're 38 and out of the closet for almost two decades. At your age, yeah, it's a lot less likely. Which is why you sort of hint at things, send out signals, but are always ready to backpedal in case somebody reacts negatively. Your friend might be sending such signals. Or he may just be a teenager. When I was that age, I was horny almost constantly - he may just be working that angle. Lex
Oh well. Thanks guys. I'm seeing him tomorrow. <3 Hehe, not that I'm counting down the days or anything. It's really great to have a community where I can talk about this sorta stuff. God knows if I randomly started to talk to someone about this. -.-
gosh, to be honest the world is so twisted today ANYONE CAN BE GAY OR STRIAHGT! usualy poeple just point out a gay person by his clothing option or his behaviour but nowadays straight men are starting to piss me off. (gay wannabee's) wearing pink and tight pants and struting their stuff and labeling themself as "pretty boys" in my opinion, ur friend is just toying with you and/or trusts u as a realllllly good friend. chances are he would tell people ur his best friend. my straight best friend slaps me on my ass all the time and feels me up in places i would consider "uncomfortable" for a straight guy to be touching me (i know hat sounds rediculous but i would feel more comfortable for a gay person giving me a lap dance than a straight guy ). so.. ...it could be a similar case.. ......or... maybe he knows something that u don't...
I like the shower together and grab and smell your underwear part! What straight guy would want to sniff a male underwear.
I don't think it's fair on your own emotional state and on him to make assumptions. I would either ask him or ignore it. If he's not ready to tell you then it doesn't matter if he is gay, straight or bi!
I know, right? Even I wouldn’t do that.. I know some guys like doing that, but it's just not my thing. I'm pretty sure straight guys don't ever so that. Maybe he sin't that straight after all
Very wise words. I think sometimes it is easy to forget that coming out is a process that everyone takes at his own pace. I've seen lots of guys go from straight to bi to gay. I've seen a lot of guys go from straight to bi to straight. But I've seen far far more guys who were straight and will always be straight- after all the statistics say that 95-97% of all men are straight. In the end, it's always best to accept what people say they are. They're the ones who are the most likely to know what they really feel.
As would I. When I read the original post I thought, "Sounds like goofy straight fratboy behavior". A lot of gay teenagers live in fear of being outed, so if anything they tend to avoid behavior that comes across as "gay". I think a goofy straight guy is more likely to sniff your underwear in a public place than a gay guy who doesn't want anyone to know he's gay. And as Lex said, young guys are just as horny and play around- even the straight ones. In a couple of years, it will be very clear whether he's gay or straight.
Oh well. Thanks. Great to get another opinion. Till next time (This can be locked, I don't need any more help)
Hmm, sorry do did up the thread, but I just got back from my holiday, and, I really don't think he is some fratboy. He asked me a couple of time "Are you gay?" Jokingly, I think, but I was soo close to saying yes. ARGH! Why doesn't someone just create a "Is he/she, isn't he/she" thread. Soo many topics like mine. Or mine is like so many other topics.
Hehe... hence why "is he/isn't he, are you/aren't you" doesn't work anyway... rarely is the question answered honestly. Maybe all he needed to hear was "yes" or "maybe" to come out to you too, maybe he was just being a jackass. But you can never really know unless you're honest, and that can be problematic for obvious reasons. My advice? Find someone you're into who doesn't play games, and make sure you're not playing them yourself.
