I am starting to realize that I am bisexual, but the problem is that I am not 100% sure (I am 90% sure). So my question is should I date a guy because deep inside I want to have a boyfriend and also I want to see who I really am. Did any of you had similar experiences and how did it turned out?
It isn't a stupid question in my opinion. I honestly feel the same way. The only problem is I have a growing fear of rejection. Plus the fact that I don't go to a public school anymore doesn't help me whatsoever. If I were put into your position, I would atleast explore it at first but keep it a secret until you know for sure.
It might be a little hard to date a guy if you are still in the closet. I wasn't 100% certain about what I was until I came out, but that's just me. But yeah, explore everything and try to see what you like more, what feels more "natural". If you like both, then you're bisexual!
Accepting your sexual orientation is a process and a continuum. Some people do fine going through the acceptance process and finding a boyfriend afterwards, others have their first boyfriend while still closeted. If your boyfriend is out, it's a lot to ask him to deal with a closeted boyfriend, because he will end up being "hidden" and not mentioned, and so forth in various circumstances, so many, if not most, healthy guys won't be terribly interested in being with someone closeted, *unless* that person is on a fast trajectory to come out. I'd say you are probably more certain than you realize. It's the part of us that is uncomfortable closing the door on the part of self that we never really identified with (the straight self) that is scary and causes us to question ourselves and avoid taking the leap.
I have to admit that sometimes I am scared of what I am realizing. At first I thought I could just stop it and assume that what I have went through was just a weird phase. At first I thought maybe there is some other explanation why I am like this (mental illness or over reaction or something else), but I am starting to realize that what I've felt since I was just 12 years old is becoming to be true (now I am 19).
