EDIT: I just realised this should probably be in Coming Out Stories, not here. Could a mod move this for me? So, a few of you might remember my first posts upon joining and all the reasons I was afraid to come out, but I’ll recap for those who don't but are interested. For the longest while I was out to only three people, my two and closest friends and my old roommate, not counting people online. This left me with a few easy people to come out to, and one hard one. The easy ones were my mother and brother, the hardest would be my friend from Indiana, when he came out here in 2006 he was completely intolerant and rough around the edges. Anyway, over the last few months I started trying a dating site at the suggestion of another member here, through that site I met one of those rare nice interesting individuals who I connect with. Fast forward to today and even though he'll be leaving the state in a month which will signal the end of it all most likely, I'm now far more confident in myself and my sexuality. He's been a catalyst in my coming out, and on a very recent trip to NM for my brother's graduation I bit the bullet and came out to my Mother. Even though my grandparents were there, and I could hardly find time alone with her I was still a coward and couldn't get it out of my mouth during several opportunities until we were driving to the airport. Though I knew she'd be totally fine with it and had plenty of theories that she already knew, I was still scared to death. I finally blurted it out on the way to the airport, and honestly it was quite underwhelming, she was totally surprised (there go my theories) and while not disappointed she was saddened that my life would be difficult. The flight home was pretty weird for me, I can't accurately describe my feelings, I was second guessing myself and felt very odd the entire way back. I did have one bright light at the end of the tunnel though... the aforementioned fellow I met online was arriving fifteen minutes after my flight got in. I'd been meaning to come out to my Hoosier friend before my trip to NM for this very reason, because I knew soon I would be hanging out with and bringing home this person. Well obviously I didn't get around to that, look how scared I was to tell my mother who I knew wouldn't care already. So here I am with my date at SeaTac, on my way home, fully expecting my friend to show up the next morning due to a work mix-up. We went back to my place and had a wonderful evening, then left early in the morning to avoid my friend, since even though he would find out soon that wasn't the way to go about telling him. Turns out this was a good idea, he wasn't just coming to drop off the keys I required, but needed to do some work, awkward confrontation would have been unavoidable. So I take my date to his rental two hours down south that morning, and the entire way back I'm worried how I am going to tell my friend. I should mention that living in Washington for seven years has done incredible things for his views/tolerance/whatever, and I originally wasn't so worried about telling him (way back in April) but as the event horizon approached I got more and more anxious, remembering what he used to be like. Back in March I emailed his sister (my aforementioned close friend who already knew about me) asking what she thought the outcome would be if I told him, she was very reassuring and was confident it wouldn't be a big deal, still I was scared and couldn't do it. Now here I am driving home from dropping my date off a few days ago, after narrowly missing being found out, wondering how the hell I would get up the courage to tell my friend about everything going on before it was too late. During an unrelated conversation with his sister yesterday I came to find out she already told him, the night after I returned to the state... so I've been interacting with him for two days without any apparent change in his demeanor at all. I was so incredibly relieved that she went ahead and told him, tomorrow I will be telling him myself. His only problem, as he told his sister, was that I didn't answer truthfully when he asked a year ago, and I shall apologise but explain that it was because of how he was when he got here years ago and I didn't want to jeopardise a friendship I value highly. It's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, I can bring male friends home now without having to worry about hiding... the feeling is incredible. I still need to tell my younger brother, and my boss, but both of these people don't care in the least, and by now I wouldn't be surprised if he's already told my boss or if my mother has told my brother for that matter. I just wanted to say thanks to the EC community, if it weren't for you I'd still be deep in the closet and lonely, the changes I've experienced in the last 3/4 of a year has been amazing and it all started here. Sorry for the long rambling post, it's 02:00 and I live in Washington (think about it).
