Hi, This is the first step I've made to publicly acknowledging that I'm probably gay. I'm so frustrated with everything at the moment. I want to be able to come out, and I've sat watching tv next to my parents many a night being so close to telling them. My heart beats faster when I think about it as I try to go to sleep and it can keep me awake for hours. I say "probably gay" because I haven't completely convinced myself that I'm not bi. But really, I'm just kidding myself. I'm not entirely sure what I'm seeking from this forum. I've told a few of my friends that I'm bi (while I was drunk though) and a few others that I'm bi, but probably gay. Every few days I seem to change my mind. It all makes me feel incredibly anxious. I don't know what my parents will think. My mum seems to be a tad homophobic and I think my dad will just be disappointed, as I'm their only son. I'll think its the right time to tell them, when all of a sudden my mum will pull a funny face when someone who's gay or lesbian comes on tv. For the past few years I've led them to believe that I'm straight, trying to convince them and myself. I think they've had suspicions in the past, and I daresay now too since I'm 19 and have never been in a proper relationship. Barely even a fun relationship. Ok, now that I've written you an essay, I'd really love to hear what anyone who cares has to say. I really do feel like this :bang: at the moment. Theres probably much more I've left out, but I think i've given you a general gist. I'm not happy.
Hey man. Boy does that "probably gay" look familiar. For me I feel like the only way to accept myself is to tell my parents regardless of their reaction. I think they'll be accepting enough of it, although not thrilled. A few months ago I was extremely depressed and lonely, so I told my best friends what I was going through. Best decision I've ever made. One friend in particular has been great, and I've told him basically everything about my orientation, such as why I'm confused, why I'm afraid to come out to certain people and even more intimate stuff. It's been very liberating, but I too feel like coming out to my parents would be a huge step. So I guess my only advice really is that if you have anybody else who you can talk to about this to, than talk to them about it. Your best friend or someone who you can completely open up to. I'd say tell your parents and you'll feel better, but I am in the exact same position so it'd be a bit hypocritical. I wish you the best though, and you can write on my wall or here if you wanna talk sometime. I'm 19 too and it sounds like we're in a very similar position. All the best.
Well this post is long overdue. I can't believe it was over a year ago that I posted on here! So much has changed since then... Firstly I want to thank you, The Dude. Your advice was extremely helpful, and i've always regretted not saying thanks in the first place. It was so comforting knowing that someone was listening to me and knew the exact situation I was in. It's great to know that there are sites like this that facilitate the sharing of advice and really just allow for lgbts to express themselves. About 11 months ago I told my sister that I was gay. She took it unbelievably well (apart from crying cos she realised I was nervous and that she thought I shouldn't have been). As a result I have been closer to her than ever before and she is one of my closest friends today... From then on it was so much easier to tell people. Soon my entire friendship group knew, surprising me with their total acceptance. I eventually told my parents (4 months to the date later) and it was probably the most liberating moment of my life. My Dad took it unbelievably well (also crying cos he knew how hard it would have been for me) and, although he was shocked, he said that he only wanted me to be happy and that it didn't change a thing. My Mum, well, admittedly she took it a little harder. She was pretty sceptical, completely in denial, believing that she would surely have noticed something as big as her only son being gay. Since we were (and still are) very close, she just couldn't believe that she had missed something so big. Anyway I'm not entirely sure she's 100% come to terms with things today, but I reckon she's getting there... It's still baby steps with what we talk about. Really though, I can pretty much say that my sexuality is public knowledge (except for Grandparents haha they'll sadly pass on wondering why i've never been in a heterosexual relationship). Although, I acknowledge that its not everyone's objective for their sexuality to be public knowledge. So basically, life is so much easier these days. I've made other gay friends, and helped them with their own situations. It really has made me wish I'd come out years earlier... I know that things are still far from perfect; for me, for gays, and for everyone else in the lgbt community. I am definitely much happier than I was though. (!) ---------- Post added 2nd Aug 2014 at 03:07 PM ---------- Omg and I've just realised that your Out status has switched to 'Out to Everyone'. Congrats!
