So the other day I learned that my dads side of the family is horribly homophobic and it's really set me back for coming out because I love my dads family but I don't want them to hate me! I have just hit a brick wall on how I'm goin to do things on that side of the family because I don't want them to think of me as "disgusting" which is how they describe gay people?! Sooo should I even come out to my dads side of the family or only come out to people that I think is important? God I just have no experience with stuff like this at all, and it's really has been upsetting me lately cuz I really want some people on my dads family to know eventually but there are such a traditional Greek family. If anyone has some suggestions it would be nice to hear some cuz at the moment I am completely stumped! Thanks for reading this. ~Zack~
Well do you think coming out would bring any benefit? Would your father's side of the family possibly change their views if you told them you were gay? Unless you have a boyfriend or something that they're going to find out about, or if you're very close to any family members and see them a lot, maybe you should just consider it part of your private life, at least for now? At least, that's how I'm currently dealing with my father's side of the family. I don't plan to ever come out to my grandparents.
I used to think that my aunts were not homophobic, and in fact very liberal in things. I guess that was my childhood looking at them. They never really said anything bad about anyone, but as I got older, I discovered that they're extremely homophobic. They think LGBT people are disgusting, shouldn't be raising children, and are confused about everything. They said all of this while I was sitting in front of them at the table. I didn't jump in on the conversation, but I was holding in so much stuff I wanted to blurt out. I waited and held all my emotions in until I got home and write on a piece of paper how wrong they are. I decided later I would never come out to them because they're likely to not come around, especially the way they talk about us. However, there is a small section of me saying I have to come out to them, regardless of what they'll think of me. That is only when I have a larger support system, financially stable, and genuinely confident with myself. The only reason I see to ever come out is because like my brothers, I want to be able to come to my mom's house, Christmas dinner, and family reunions with my HUSBAND, without being alienated and outcaste. Still, that's only a dream of mine. My family is extremely homophobic, so you're not in the boat alone. I recommend waiting until you feel your support system is there with you, and you are able to take the possible ignorance.
I feel you, my parents are both homophobic that makes it so hard to come out, i suggest tell them after finishig your school and you have your own life, im sure they will respect your desicion because you are family, and they will get over that, youre not the one who has homophobic relatives.
I know that a lot of people on my fathers side enjoy talking to me and they like me, and that's why its so hard with that aspect. I have no clue really if their views would change, and I really hope that they would. Its just when I get to the point where I do have a relationship I have a hard time thinking that its going to have to be a secret you know. I want people to know I'm happy instead of seeming like I just am lonely. I'm not 100% close to my dads side of the family so I just don't know how they would react to me being gay. I think I might just keep it private for a while until I see fit. Eventually though I really want to be 100% out not 50/50 idk why it's just something I find to be important. I am just so tired of being someone I am not, and I am not going to continue trying to be that person. After coming out to my first person I was done being "straight" and I want to be "me" That's what I want, everyone on my dads side of the family is married with kids and they always bring their significant others to talk to the family and I would just get all depressed if I had a boyfriend and I had to hide him and say he's my friend, just because everyone else gets to show who they have found in the world. If I find some amazing guy I want people to know that he's not just my friend you know! And as you said I would feel so alienated being with my boyfriend that I have to declare as my friend. Thanks everyone for the advice it really makes me feel better, knowing that no matter what I will have EC! I love this community and everyday I come on here I am more and more happy that I joined this site! I will still probably ponder this for days on end but reading some of the replies it makes it a lot easier. I am just going to go with the flow and see how things end up. If one day I decide its time to tell them I will, but before then I want to make sure that they truly love me and hear their views on things more. Again thanks! ~Zack~