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Really need to come out!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TimTomC, Jun 12, 2013.

  1. TimTomC

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    So about a year ago, I came out to my mom, she got mad at me, and it scared me so much I told her I was just kidding. I think she knows I'm gay know, and is just afraid to admit it to herself.

    I would like to come out soon, I JUST WANT TO SCREAM IM GAY! I really don't know if I can hold it in any longer, its mentally breaking me down. But I'm so scared of the awkwardness, and anger, I'll have to deal with from my mother, but I just can't keep living a lie like this, I really can't, I really feel like I need to come out.


    I really need support right now, I can feel the rejection from my mother already. She would never kick me out of the house or anything, but emotionally she is going to reject me. :icon_sad:
     
  2. KnownSecret

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    I understand everything you are feeling, being rejected by someone you love is heartbreaking. Maybe since you already have came out to your mom she has had a long time to think about it, to learn that your still the same son she had before you came out? I don't have to much experience on coming out to someone who has issues with gay people, but my advice would be to wait to tell her for a while? Make sure she's in a good mood when you tell her and try and explain your still her son and your still the same person you were before you told her this, just your not attracted to women. It may take a while for your mom to get the message and to accept it, just as it took you a while to accept it yourself, but I hope she will, I cannot say positively that she will accept you because I don't know anything more about her then what you posted above. Don't rush into it though, make sure you have a good support system and people that will be there for you no matter what happens in the end, just in case its worst then you thought.

    If you ever need anyone to talk to, I am always available (well not always but a majority of the time :wink:) Just message me on here and I can always be someone to talk to, either to vent to or to ask for advice. I know I am not the most experienced person with coming out but I am always willing to help people, that's just how I am :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: I'd help my friend before I help myself! I hope you luck and I hope everything goes smooth.

    ~Zack~
     
  3. TimTomC

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    Thank you!
     
  4. TimTomC

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    I need more support!
     
  5. Zoe

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    Hey There, Tim Tom,

    I'm sorry you're in such a difficult situation. I came out just recently, so my relationship with my parents (Dad and Step-Mom) is a little different.

    It's got to be difficult when you don't expect to get emotional support from a person who is so central in your life.

    I read something by Stephen King about monsters. Monsters have to be hidden in the dark, only glimpsed out of the corner of the eye, never seen fully, in order to be frightening. Once you unveil the monster and bring it into the full light, terror dissipates because the real monster is not nearly as hideous and scary as the one you imagined.

    In other words, fear thrives on the unknown. Fear builds when we allow ourselves to imagine the worse outcome to a situation we're avoiding. Once it's brought out into the light, it's almost never as bad as you imagined.

    I can't promise your mom won't be upset. But if she's just waiting for the other shoe to drop, I'm sure her stress about the issue is higher than if she just knew.

    And your stress staying in the closet and fearing the conversation is worse than how you'll feel once you've talked to her.

    At the very least, this sounds like something you need to do for your own well being. Don't underestimate the importance of taking care of yourself and giving yourself what you need.

    I wish you well and hope if you do decide to talk to her, it goes well.

    --Zoe
     
  6. TimTomC

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    I'm going to do it, when she is in a really good mood. Now we wait.
     
  7. Zoe

    Zoe
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    Tim Tom,

    Let us know how it goes.

    --Zoe
     
  8. smokey-knows-all

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    She loved you before and you're still the same person except she didn't know about one part of you as a person. Try to get her to realize that you've been gay your whole life and you haven't become anything different with telling this to her. If you have any "manly" interests like sports or stuff thats not associated with stereotypical gays then maybe make a point of showing her or other unsupportive family members those things. Good luck :grin:
     
  9. ScatteredEarth

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    Hopefully it's a positive reaction. But you should not be afraid of her being mad at you. I'm sure she would come to terms with it in her own way.
     
  10. TimTomC

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    Easier said then done. :|