In desperate need of a boyfriend

So stop pretending to be happy, talk honestly to your parents. If they have noticed a change in your behaviour they are probably worried to death!

Chose the parent you are closest to and tell them honestly and simply what you are feeling, how unhappy you are etc. Once you have shared your worry you will feel less alone.

As for the emotional eating this is one of the main problems of all people over weight. I read a theory about it if you want me to tell you PM me. Anyway, back on topic. If you feel the need to eat then try to stick with healthy options, carrot sticks, apples or any kind of fruit or raw vegetable, avoid salty or processed foods, then at least you won't feel so guilty about nibbling.

Do your family know you are trying to loose weight? It is good to get your mum on your side so that she can make you healthy meals and hide or stop buying snack foods and only having fruit available... then you can't munch your way through a bag of chips even if you want to!

 

I've typed this somewhere else already today I think... but I don't mind doing it again.

TV and movies may give you the impression that EVERYONE has a relationship when they're in their mid teens. It's simply not the case. I didn't have a serious relationship until I was 25 - and I'd say I'd never really done anything but given someone a 'peck' on the cheek in terms of kissing - ok - maybe a 'peck' on the lips - but nothing serious!

You certainly don't need to feel self conscious about it - because it sounds like your friends value your advice when it comes to dealing with people. You just need to get comfortable with yourself and the concept of dating another guy. That will come.

And eating as an emotional response... tell me about it! Once you've figured out how to deal with it - call me! I'm trying to deal with it the same way you are... by increasing the amount that I exercise.

 

First off*hug*)

I was in your situation about a month or so ago, I was depressed because everyone seemed to be in a relationship except me. What helped me, and will probably help you too, is to find one of your friends (girl or guy, your choice) that you can just do things with on a regular basis, just hang out a couple times a week or go to the movies on weekends.

Second, you're going off to college soon and I can guarantee that you WILL meet people there and possibly people you can have a relationship with.

Try to be optimistic and don't worry too much about the things your life is lacking at the moment. Focus on all the good and you'll find yourself much happier.

P.S. You can PM if you ever want to talk about it.

 

Exercising works...even if it's just walking. It can be a tricky b@$turd to stop eating though.
If people are making fun of you, just remember that that is low. Those people spend so much time making their mask, that they are no longer REAL people. YOU know who you are.

Last...don't judge yourself too harshly. There is someone for you out there; they might just be hiding or lonely like you. Or they're stuck watching Seinfeld or something. You seem like a really cool person. Someone you can connect to, and people like that.

P.S. shoot..I think chubby people are CUTE. But to each his own. later

 

I've got about a thousand things to say here. I'll try to narrow it down.

"Desperately need a boyfriend"? Huh-uh. Don't fall into that trap. I know people like that. They walk around with their arm around an imaginary person, with a sign saying "insert boyfriend here". That's not how it works. Relationships aren't found - they're BUILT. And yes, it may be that a good healthy relationship will bolster your self-confidence and make you happier. But there's no guarantee that the relationship you end up in will necessarily be of that type. And I don't think you're in any shape to handle a less-than-ideal relationship.

So get yourself in shape. And I don't mean the gym (although that's a good step in the right direction).

First off, I challenge you to find me a single person on this board (or anywhere) who didn't feel like they were always being put down for being too fat, too thin, too dumb, too smart, or too something-else. It's something we all deal with. And especially in the high school years, it hurts a lot more than it should. It's part of the whole adolescent thing. In addition to growing pubes and an Adam's apple, you start growing emotionally. You start dealing with "what does everyone else think?" feelings a lot. We all feel awkward and clumsy and ugly a lot of the time. And don't worry about your nose. We all have parts of us that we wish were bigger, smaller, prettier, or more noticeable. Just accept it. It's part of who you are, part of what makes you you, along with all your other positive and negative traits.

Nobody here on Earth in perfect. Far from it. But most of us end up finding people to get into relationships with. Because we're all realists. We don't expect perfection in people. (And those that do change their mind pretty quick when they realize how lonely they're getting.) We're just looking for someone to click with. As the song goes, "I'm not perfect, but maybe I'm perfect for you."

And to quote another song, "We've got kids thinking they're freaks, 'cause they're not getting laid." Yes, some kids your age are getting some, and some are even in really great relationships. Those ones are in the minority. You're not a freak if you leave high school a virgin. I did. And I can't say I regret it at all.

Next, work on the depression. Stop faking it. Be honest - with your parents, and your friends. Tell them what you're thinking. Stop waiting for it to go away - get proactive about it. Go see your doctor and have him/her do some tests to make sure there's nothing physically wrong. Make an appointment to see your school therapist so you can discuss these things with him. Because if you can get on top of this depression, you can start feeling better about yourself. And once you do that, you'll start liking you more. And when you do that, others will like you, too.

Get on it.

Lex

 

Lex your so smart and give great advice!

Whenever you post, I feel like I HAVE to read it!

Lex, you said it all! I have nothing to add. Good luck man!

 

DITTO!!

Weird hah? Me not talking, out of words?

Yeah it freaked me out too

 

hehehe...that's me!!! I love watching Seinfeld....and I'm kinda depressed about finding someone too!

 

Word. (Get on it)

 

I like being me. I've had friends with benefits but never a real boyfriend. The thing is, I have pretty much no desire to get a boyfriend. I can't even imagine myself in a relationship like that (I used to, but not anymore. don't know why). Lol I don't have much of any kind of loving emotion. I couldn't sit around like those couples for hours all snuggling like that. I'd get bored or something, I dunno. It's just not me.

But yeah I guess I'm weird.

 

Tokarov speaks the truth!! Lex is awesome and gives great advice!

 

you made this thread with exactly my thouhgts and emotions - EXACTLY.
I feel lonely, my self confidence is 0%, no weight lost and i feel like I don't know why I'll care losing weight if no one ever will love me.