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Come out to my best friend or family next?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by x Wallflower x, Jun 12, 2013.

  1. x Wallflower x

    Regular Member

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    I've recently come out to my first person and feel ready to take the next step and come out to people I'm close to as I have now accepted my attraction to women and want to be honest with them.

    My parents make jokes about me being a lesbian all the time (not nastily I think they already know and are waiting for me to admit it) and a couple of times when they joke members of my family have said "so what if she is gay" and have expressed that they would still accept me.

    On the other hand my best friend of about ten years has said some things which I think are slightly offensive when we discuss someone she knows from college who is a lesbian and has said things such as "I'm scared she'll hit on me" and "I feel uncomfortable when she talks to me or touches me" which makes me think that if I tell her she'll get distant.

    Who do you think would be best to come out to first? and do I need to label myself when coming out?
     
  2. Thaliondae

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Judging purely on what you've told us, I'd say family is probably the best next choice. But coming out is such a personal thing and if that doesn't feel right to you, don't listen to my advice! But they sound like they're a sure thing for support and understanding, something you might need if telling your friend takes an unfortunate turn.

    I think people understand you more if you come out with a label (I.e "I'm Gay!" or "I'm Bi!") as opposed to just "I'm attracted to women!" but if you yourself haven't worked it all out yet, there is no reason to rush yourself into being labelled for their benefit. But like I said, this is advice that only you can decide whether or not fits your situation. Good luck x :slight_smile:
     
  3. x Wallflower x

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    Just a quick update, I came out to my best friend yesterday which was definitely one of the scariest things I've ever done. I did it through text although I tried to do it face to face my nerves got the better of me as I wasn't sure of her reaction but she was very supportive which is a huge relief.

    My next step is to hopefully start getting involved in my local LGBT community by going to bars or looking at groups. I finally feel comfortable about my sexuality and although there are still some fears about public reactions I no longer feel the need to repress my feelings.