Alright, time to sort this all out finally, any help much appreciated!

Okaaay so I've decided that the next few months is probably the best time I'm going to have for several years in terms of ease of timing for coming out properly for various reasons that I won't bore you with. I feel like if I don't take the time now to deal with this rather stressful issue in a relatively non-stressful period of time off university, I probably won't for another few years, and I don't want to waste yet moreeee time pointlessly mulling this over. This could get a bit long-winded, but please bare with me, if you would. What I need is a little help in overcoming the few things that are keeping me from just going for it...

1) I'm worried I'll realise I'm bi and not gay
Even though I know I predominately like women, the fact that I had some pretty serious boy crushes when I was younger does make me wonder sometimes. I wonder if it's denial about being bi, or denial about being gay, ARGGGH. These days I sometimes have weak-ish crushes on boys, but I can't imagine myself in a relationship with one really as I feel I'd never be properly satisfied. Then I wonder if that is because I'm gay (probably) or if I'm just really curious about being with girls.

2) I think people might not believe me
Most people do not see this coming at all. Now, I realise that people are interested in their own lives and all, but this will be relatively juicy goss, I would imagine. I'm pretty girly, I've dated boys, most of my friends are girls, basically I don't fit a single stereotype. And so, I think when I do come out, some people might think I've gone mad, or that I'm attention seeking. I would hope not though, I can think of a million ways I'd go about seeking attention in a more effective manner if I wanted it than doing this.

3) I'm really worried thing will change between my friends and I
To be honest this is probably the big one. I guess I won't really know until I do it though, will I? I just don't know how I'll cope if things go a bit pear-shaped. I don't really know what I'd do if people were acting weird around me or whatever. Some of my friends are very "pro-gay", whilst others are quietly homophobic but would never admit it. I don't want people thinking I fancy them, as ridiculous as that sounds, as most of my friends as gorgeous as they are I wouldn't touch with a barge pole because they have been totally friend-zoned by me, if you get me, haha.

4) Coming out makes it real
Coming out will mean letting go of that final thread of hope that I have of the husband and kids scenario. I mean, it's fine, I can have something similar, but I still kind of mourn the loss because my own family is very small and so I'm counting on having children so I don't die alone (haha, bit dark, eh)

5) Bad times at school
School is a crap place a fair bit of the time and I, like many, was unfortunate enough to cross paths with some nasty ladies who made my life rather unpleasant between the ages of 15-17ish. It started because I was dating one of their boyfriends, he was at a different school and I genuinely had no clue he was dating one of the said ladies, because they were a year older and contrary to what they believed, I didn't keep up to date with the love lives of people I did not know. Anyway when it all came out all hell broke loose and it was honestly the most stressful thing I've ever been through. I made it out alive though, hurrah. But the whole thing has left its mark, and my crazy head imagines they would gain some kind of satisfaction from finding out that they way they treated me on the back of this had "turned me gay" - not that this is what I do think has happened. (Boy in question was my first 'boyfriend' so not a great introduction to the world of men).

Anywayyyyy thanks for serving as my own personal cyperspace shrink, I hope you enjoyed me dumping all this emotional baggage on you. I appreciate if you read all of this and if you have any advice or a little pep-talk you feel may be of help, I would be really grateful. I can't wait to stop spending all of my time thinking about this, it's going to be so great.